* My office computer (university supplied) has started acting weird on start-up. For about the first 40 minutes that it's on, it's prone to locking up. At first I blamed Firefox or BlackBoard (what I was trying to use when it locked) but I don't think that's it. Once it's been on for a while, it seems fine. Which tells me that unless I think a power outage is likely (thunderstorms in the area), it is best to just leave it on all the time but in "sleep mode" when I'm not here.
I did print out my other exam (the first exam I have to write is already copied and ready to go) and e-mailed a copy of a third exam to my .gmail address in case of major malfunction.
Yes, it's defragged and the virus prevention is up to date.
* Still feeling a little sad and freaked-out after the news of yesterday. I suppose one thing I really should do at some point is actually go in to a lawyer and get a formalized will (rather than a "manuscript" version or whatever they call the handwritten quickie thing that is apparently legal in my state). I do have some money - mostly in retirement accounts - and if I cack it before I have time to use up that money, I want half of it to go towards my niece's future (whether college, trade school, setting up a business, whatever - anything BUT spending it on things like frivolous stuff or partying). The other half I want divided between Mercy Corps, the Nature Conservancy, possibly a scholarship fund either at my school or my grad school (If the congregation I belong to still exists - I expect I will outlive it - I would want some of the money to go there). As for the stuff - oh gads, the stuff - my ideal would be for my relatively-few friends and family to pick out an item or items that they want as a keepsake and the rest be sold or donated somewhere, and if sold, the money going back into the estate to be divided as above. My books - I would want my university library to have first dibs on anything they can use or sell to fund further operations, and the rest either donated to a literacy program or sold with the proceeds going to a literacy program. And my yarn and fabric I would want to go to some group that can use them - a group making quilts for the homeless/injured veterans/people in hospice/Project Linus/whatever or the yarn maybe to one of those prison groups that teaches the inmates to knit or crochet as a rehabilitation thing.
it's hard to think that way though, and harder to formalize it down on paper, which is why I've put off going to a lawyer but I also do need to find someone to be executor - I wouldn't want to force my brother into that role; I think I'd rather pay for an attorney or a legal firm to do that.
I probably also need to think about "advanced directives" - when I went into the ER with stomach problems in January, thinking I'd have to be operated on, the intake person asked me about those and I almost cried and said I'd do one if I actually had to have surgery. (My general feeling is: heroic measures yes at this point, if I am likely to have reasonable quality of life afterward. If my brain is gone, no, let me go.)
Ugh. It's hard to think about that.
* So something happier: I decided yesterday to order the Pinto-Pony body pillow I had been contemplating ((can be seen here)
I haven't decided on a name or even which gender it is yet; that will be for when it arrives.
Confession: I kind of want a miniature horse but I know that:
a. where I live (in town) they would not be legal and it's too expensive to board here
b. I know nothing about horse care and it might not be fair to the horse without me going through an extensive learning process first
c. horses probably need companions and I think I could only afford one
d. I believe I am actually allergic to horses; I think that was on the list last time I got allergy tested
So this is an easier way for me to sort-of recreate this:
(I love that ad. I also love the newer Amazon ad with the priest and the imam both sending each other knee-pads so they can kneel to pray in their own ways without it hurting their knees)
Also, having a body pillow will be nice - something to lean against while I read in bed, something to prop myself against when my hip bursitis is bothering me (it's hard to find a comfortable sleeping position then), and just generally, something to hug when I'm a little sad.
No, I don't think at this point I will ever "outgrow" stuffed animals.
* At least my desire to knit is returning, especially now I have the "obligation knitting" done (mom's mitts, the little toys for my niece, the mitts for the AAUW party). I want to finish a couple of the "on the needles" things before break - hopefully will get the Pronk socks done, and maybe also the Hagrid scarf.
I also want to make myself a g4-ized Minty. When I cleaned up the guest room the other day I found the yarn I got for her and the leftovers from Cheerilee I put aside for her mane, so I could start her any time.
And yeah. I have a TON of yarn. I need to start using it up before I buy any more. Or maybe I dig through and randomly send sockyarn to people that I know knit...I think I have, in a few cases, bought duplicates or yarn in very similar colorways. (If I had more time, I'd knit things for charity and use up/give away the yarn that way. But I don't have that much time).
I should also print out the various patterns I want to use, put them in sheet protectors, and store them with the yarn I intend to use them for.
* Also my desire to practice piano in the absence of lessons is back - for a while I was only doing 20 mins a day (if that - some days I did none at all). Part of it was busy-ness, part of it was just not wanting to. I don't know - I have occasionally gotten a week or two stretch here and there where I don't feel like doing some of the things I normally enjoy. I would be worried, except I can probably chalk it up to peri/menopause (not sure which I am in right now) because then I get happier again later on. (Also my stomach issues seem tied to it in some way, as does the anxiety I've felt this fall. I'm hoping all that will resolve when the change is finally complete).
* Though I have made three changes that seem to be helping: I now take my antihistamine (monteleukast) WHEN I eat breakfast, not 20-some minutes before and maybe it was messing with my stomach a little. I also cut out the loratidine and so far have not hived up too badly, so I hope maybe I can drop that one (also, since it's OTC, I pay the full amount, and even the generic is sort of expensive).
And the biggest thing is trying, as much as I can manage, to do my exercise in the afternoon when I get home rather than on a totally empty stomach when I get up. Other bonus: my muscles and joints aren't so "cold" so I probably am less likely to hurt myself. This will pose a scheduling problem come Spring semester because I will have afternoon labs three days a week but maybe I can force myself to get home early enough to do it. I know some exercise physiologists say working out later in the day is more effective for things like metabolism and also not hurting yourself....just not to do it within an hour or two of bedtime because being "revved up" can affect sleep. (Other bonus: I can sleep until almost 6 am if I need to. And it's a nicer start to the day to not have to jump out of bed into a cold house and flail your limbs around)
* And I am generally feeling a looking-forward-to of simple things again: being able to bake cookies when up at my parents' in a couple weeks. Putting up the tree at their place. Getting to see some of the people up there I knew when I lived there before. Thinking about what projects I am going to work on over break. Going out antiquing this weekend (I turned down a volunteer opportunity I possibly should not have but I had already made the plans, and also, I just need more time out to be happy. And anyway, being asked less than a week in advance to give up a whole day doing something really doesn't work.). The AAUW party, which is Thursday (I am making the same old turkey meatballs in raspberry sauce I always make, but everyone likes them, more importantly **I** like them, and they're not that hard to make). Finding some of the silly old Christmas movies on tv (I do have Elf and A Christmas Story on dvd and maybe should watch one of them Friday evening).
* Also am looking forward to sending out Christmas cards. CPAAG is doing its annual tradition and I eagerly await my five names. I also have a few other people I plan to send cards to....and if you're not someone I've sent to in the past and want a (paper, sent through the mail) card, e-mail me your address....I have some extras and also may stop in by Five Below again (which has an excellent selection of not-too-expensive but funny or cute cards) when I am out antiquing.
I'm glad I got my energy or whatever it is back and feel like doing fun things again, instead of just staring at a wall when I get home at the end of the day.
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