Living one's life

I went to a memorial service yesterday - this was the one for the woman who was our long-time organist until she retired in 2011.

(She started playing piano in church in 1931....before either of my parents was born. So she had a very long life).

It was co-led by our interim minister and by the minister of one of the local Baptist churches (she and her husband were "officially" Baptist - in fact, he was a minister for many, many years - but they also loved and attended the congregation I belong to, a Disciples of Christ congregation).

One thing the Baptist minister said in his eulogy struck me, and also made me happy. And also made me think.

He referred to her as having "Lived life to the fullest."

And I realized: you know, that's true. And different people define it differently. And the World or the media or whatever you want to call it would define a "full" life differently than the life this lady lived. But in my book, she DID have a very full life.

True, she was not famous. I don't think she ever lived more than 200 miles from where she was born. Her main life-focus was her family, her faith, and her music. She didn't participate in "extreme sports," she didn't "go for the gusto" or any of those other stupid advertising slogans. Instead, what she did, a lot of it, was focus on service - on what she could do with her talents to help others.

The full church - not just of people from my congregation, or the Baptist congregation, but many other people from other circles of life - attests to the love she shared and the life she lived.

And I think, you know, there's something very insidious about the idea, which you sometimes hear, that someone who isn't famous or hasn't amassed a lot of money or who hasn't written books or stuff like that doesn't matter. I know I have said to myself on occasion, "You're wasting your life" when I think of people who were born in the same year as I was and who have done much more well-known things with their lives (directed movies, written books on Proust) or when I think of people who have devoted their all to the single purpose of research and, as a result, have more or better-known publications than I do.

And I need to stop it. Not just because being jealous of another person blinds you to the blessings you do have....but because I do have something to contribute. Even if it's something small. Even if it's just baking a batch of jam bars and standing by the punchbowl serving people punch. No, it's not flashy or famous or anything, but it's something that needs to be done and that can help people in a way. And yeah, I get that it's not the same thing as trying to find a cure for cancer....but we can't all do that. But we can all find something to do that helps. And maybe that's enough.

And also, you never do know where your influence will take other people, based on some of the things people said in the memorial service. Maybe you don't find a cure for cancer....but maybe you teach someone who becomes a doctor who helps people recover from cancer. Or someone who helps them cope with it emotionally....

I think I've commented before on how George Bailey was lucky. Lucky because he got to see the influence he had on other people's lives, and he got the chance to go back and keep exerting that influence. For the rest of us, it may be only after we're gone that that influence really becomes clear....but that's not a reason to stop trying.