But it's hard to hear about it in your own country. Especially approaching one of the biggest festivals of the year (well, one of the biggest for Christians, and I also know a number of people who are either not practicing Christians or who even follow a different philosophical path who celebrate it). Especially one that is devoted to the idea of "peace on earth, good will to all people."
Yeah, the mall shooting. (Didn't this happen a few years back, in a different state?). This is one of the things I don't GET about people, and I suppose I should be glad I don't get it, because that might mean that I'm saner, even in my darkest moments, than I expect I am.
For one thing: If you're going to commit suicide, just go and do it. Don't do it in a way that destroys other innocent families. That includes situations of taking other people out on your way, or things like intentionally getting hit by a train (it is very bad for the engineer and the crew to have to live with that). I get that people in that state aren't thinking logically, and I have heard some people argue that suicide is the ultimate selfish action, but....
And actually, I'm inclined to agree with people on that last statement. I had a cousin commit suicide, gosh, eight years ago? I think? It was right around Christmas too - in fact, I didn't find out until I was home over break - my mother (his aunt) didn't want to tell me because "It's not a very nice thing to have to think about when you're busy with exam week." True, but I also want to know bad stuff right away. But it was hard for us all to deal with - harder for my mother than for me (she babysat him when he was young). But it was still hard for me.
So my first words to someone thinking of suicide would be: Stop, find someone to talk to, try to not do this. The fallout it causes to family and friends is pretty rough. Also that every bad period in my life eventually got better. (Also, for the very young: what looks like a world-ending thing right now - breaking up with your beloved, failing out of college, losing a job - really ISN'T a world-ending thing; thousands upon thousands of people have had the same experience and were able to come back from it)
And I get that this time of year is hard for a lot of people. (It may have been a factor with my cousin...)
But the whole shooter-in-a-mall thing just makes me so sad. And scared, on some level: you can't plan for that. You can't really take precautions against it. I mean, I drive defensively. I generally DON'T drive on the big party-nights of the year when there are likely to be DUIs out on the road. I don't use my cell phone when I drive and I'm very attentive to the road. (Still, I have had several near-miss experiences - most where the other driver was either texting or on a cell phone - though I suppose I could argue my attentiveness and fast reactions saved me there).
There's even debate over what to do. Whether it's better to run or to hunker down behind something or to get a group together to rush and tackle the guy or to pancake on the floor and pretend you're already dead. We're told what to do on campus, and believe me, I hate having to give some of the real estate of my brain over to What Would I Do If I Were In Room 209 and There Was A Report of a Shooter, versus What Would I Do If I Were In Room 201, etc., etc.
My first thought upon flipping the news channel on last night and seeing the report was "Oh no, not again!" followed by, "Please God, let the people I know from Ravelry who live up there be OK." (As far as I've been able to determine, they all are).
But I also find myself thinking of Longfellow's words:
And in despair I bowed my head;
"There is no peace on earth," I said;
"For hate is strong,
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"
There's too much random violence in the world. And I get that some people who commit violence (many/most of them, maybe?) are mentally ill....but there are also people who are ill who don't commit violence. And I have to say I still believe there is evil in the world, that some people do just choose to do evil, for whatever reason.
Fortunately, the way the carol is traditionally sung, the next verse is
Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead; nor doth he sleep!
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men!"
Though I have to say I wish some days we saw more evidence of that which is right prevailing....
I suppose ultimately the only thing you can do is to live as happily as you can....to still go out and do your Christmas shopping even if it feels more risky now. I don't know.
No comments:
Post a Comment