It's really getting to me right now.
We are under a "heat advisory" until SATURDAY. Yes, you read that right: nearly a week of heat advisory, which basically means, "Don't do yardwork if the sun is out because there's a good chance you will die.
Luckily, I think my lawn has died, so I won't have to mow it.
Even with the air conditioner running as much as I dare let it, it's stuffy and unpleasant in my house. And cavelike, because I keep the blinds drawn to keep the sun out as much as possible. So maybe I am suffering from lack-of-light induced SAD, brought on by the fact that opening my blinds in the living room makes the temperature in there go up 5 degrees in about a half hour.
And there's no chance of rain. Well, not NO chance, but practically speaking, no chance - they are saying "20% chance" which I believe is how weathercasters lie about it so that people don't become totally desperate. I'm expecting us to be told to stop washing our cars and only shower every other day soon.
I've lost a lot of motivation to do stuff. Sunday afternoon I picked away at different things but eventually got "meh" with everything.
Now I remember why I worked almost every previous summer: having a schedule to stick to, having a clear purpose, rather than the amorphous "work on research" sort of thing. I get dissatisfied because I don't really have "intermediate" goals - the long-term goal, a publication somewhere, seems too far off right now. (I was the same way in grad school and resorted to taking seminar classes - even when I didn't need to - because being able to say, "I did the reading for this week's class" or "I prepped my discussion leading" provided some sense of having gotten something done).
Also, our interviewee turned us down. Crap. So it's back to square one, trying to find someone to adjunct in the fall. (Or, the other option: overloading a couple people nigh unto death, which I don't want to see happen). I'm not hopeful about this fall; I suspect I'll be teaching a new prep, plus multiple sections of a lab class, and it will just be tiring and miserable and I am already wondering how I will find an afternoon time to schedule piano lessons.
(How sad is that? The thing that I am considering taking the place - the time commitment - of raising a child (and not even really that amount of time), I am thinking I may have to drop).
I'm so sick of the bad economy, of no one no where having any money to do anything. I want to kick "do more with less" in the shins. I want to kick "record high productivity per worker" (because every worker is doing the jobs of 2-3) in the shins.
I'm going to go from frustrating idleness this summer to frantic busy-ness this fall, and it doesn't make me happy.
3 comments:
Now imagine those who are in indefinite-end involuntary idleness, looking at those displaying wonders of "record productivity" and feeling themselves inadequate to live. Frustration is a mild term for it.
What bothers me more is when opportunity and funds to hire people come, those who manage hiring will see no need for it, since employees (who fill slots of 2-3 people) are seemingly doing the job. And nobody dares to complain or even show that they are tired, for fear to be kicked out. Thus creating impression that more workers are not necessary.
Have you tried full spectrum light bulbs? I checked Amazon.com and they have full spectrum CFLs, including some pretty high wattages so you can bring the sunshine indoors.
Also, what creakypavillion said. I've been thinking about that myself - that the reason jobs are not coming back (and possibly never will) is that companies have discovered that they can get by fewer people.
"Luckily, I think my lawn has died, so I won't have to mow it."
I love that line ;)
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