Remembering to eat

Okay, I spoke too soon. Staying on allergy meds is not the magic solution to my summer-feeling-of-meh.

It's like 82 degrees in my office right now. I can't make it any cooler. I have to keep the door closed because there are a couple people here with less to do than I have and they like to come and talk. And while I'm wasting far more time online than I should, at least I like to be able to pick away at the SFD as inspiration hits.

I had to run home because I was wearing a very old (like, 15 years old) pair of capri pants, and when I went down to the ladies' room, I realized I had blown through the thighs of them. This is common in heavyset women with large thighs - that's the first place my jeans wear out, too, provided I don't do something like snag the knee on a sharp rock out in the field.

I had to change into regular slacks because the only other pair of capris I own is just about as threadbare, and I didn't want to have to repeat the trek home to change again.

I don't own any shorts. I haven't worn shorts in years. It's largely a body-image issue; when I was in high school girls were allowed to wear modest Bermuda shorts on warm days. And one day, I wore them. And one of the boys made a very unflattering comment about my legs. And yes, that was some 25 years ago now. And I still am uncomfortable at the thought of wearing shorts. (Skirts are a different matter. For one thing, all my skirts come to the bottom of my kneecap at least, so I feel like I'm shielding the world from my ZOUNDS FAT THIGHS at least)

Part of it is also I loathe clothes-shopping and only do it when I must - and I guess it's getting to that point. (I loathe clothes-shopping because (a) I get an idea in mind of what I want, and of course none of the store have it. You want a plain blue skirt? Sorry, it's "pants year" and you will only find slacks in the stores. and (b) it's too disheartening sometimes to have to leaf through the 2s and 4s and 6s and hope beyond hope that there's actually a 14 or a 16 in there. Or the store has gone to S,M,L sizing and nothing fits quite right. And yeah, kind of also (c) I know I will never look as good in my clothes as the models, so it's like I'll always be disappointed when I look at myself in the mirror. Or at least, I'll never look like I feel like I "should" look.)

I also ate some lunch. I commented on Twitter that one other thing I need to remember to do is to eat meals at mealtimes. Of late, especially at dinner, I've been all "Meh, it's too hot to digest" and wind up not eating anything, and then starting to feel vaguely sick around 9 pm, and realizing I need to eat. So I've begun forcing myself to. Lunches tend to be a small dish of plain yogurt and whatever fruit I have on hand, maybe a few almonds. Dinner tends to be a salad and if I feel like I need more protein, I boil an egg or something. I guess at least I'm getting the necessary nutrients - that's actually my biggest diet worry when I get like this, that I'm going to develop some kind of bizarre deficiency and the doctors are going to have to go all Dr. House on me to figure out what's wrong.

I guess I shouldn't worry too much. I had a cousin who would eat nothing but pancakes or grilled cheese sandwiches for months on end and he never seemed to develop any health problems. (Of course, he was also 4 and 5 at the time).

Sometimes I developed food-jags as a kid (heck, sometimes I still do as an adult) but it was more on the line of "I'd eat poached eggs for every meal if my mom would let me" and not so much "I will not eat anything that is not a poached egg."

(I guess I'm kind of on one now, with my yogurt/fruit/almonds and my salad/boiled egg.)

I felt a little better after eating. Also went out and ran some errands - gassed up the car (I have to go back to one of the field sites tomorrow, plus Friday is my "playdate" with a friend) and went to the bank and got cash for the "playdate."

And bought a get-well card for my brother. You know, it's hard (or at least, at my Hallmark shop, it's hard) to find a get-well card that's funny, but not gloppy-sticky-sweet funny nor kind-of-gross-body-function funny? I finally chose a Hoops and Yoyo talking card - it says something like "Remember what made you feel better in Kindergarten" and the little dialog on it says something about napping on a carpet square and then getting a graham cracker and a "cute little carton of milk" and that eventually you'd feel enough better to eat paste again.

I don't know. I found it mildly amusing so I hope he does to. I admit that I'm not a huge fan of the talking cards - they're expensive and it would be really irritating if it malfunctioned and just kept playing even after you closed it - but it was the best choice in this case.

The card shop had hundreds of birthday cards. And lots of thank-you cards. And even "suggestive love" cards (ICK. I can imagine what they mean by 'suggestive'). And cards for your dog or cat to send. And they have get-well cards specifically aimed at people taking chemo. But very few just-nice-and-funny plain get well cards.