I was RAKed.

I walked out to my mailbox yesterday afternoon, opened it, saw one of those big Tyvek mail envelopes (and not a FLAT envelope either) and thought, "Wait, I haven't ordered anything."

Then I thought: wait, someone on Ravelry asked for my mailing address. (Yes, we are trusting that way on Ravelry.)

It was a gift, from a fellow blogger (I will only name her here if she approves). It was a "sorry you had troubles this semester" gift of some really lovely sock yarn in a handpainted color (mostly purplish blues and some greens and burgundy). It made me very happy and I very much appreciate both the yarn and the card.

(It was a difficult semester, I realize that now. When I'm under emotional stress I don't always realize it until the stress is over, and I look back and saw how crabby/sad/uninterested in the things that usually make me happy I was).

Anyway. It's one of those little things people do that makes a lot of things better.

I've never been in a position of sufficient power or money to believe that money made the world go 'round (or maybe I've never been sufficiently cynical. Or maybe those two are the same thing). And I've never been sufficiently besotted with romantic love to believe that it makes the world go 'round (old songs to the contrary). But I am coming to think that kindness, just the simple human gestures, are what make that difference - that, figuratively speaking, make the world go 'round.

While I wouldn't claim to believe in karma (at least not in the strict sense), I do think that you tend to get back what you put out into the world. Or that you reap what you sow.

I'm not sure whether I believe that it is simply that how you behave towards others affects your attitude - and if you make an effort to be kind and generous, you are more likely to see the kind and generous actions of others, and be grateful for them, rather than perhaps taking them as your "due," as some of the so-called Special Snowflakes I have dealt with do.

Or maybe I think there's something more to it, something almost mystical. I will say there have been times in my life when I've done something generous - something over and above, that maybe hurt a bit financially - and then I would find that in the coming week, something would happen - either a check would come because my insurance company re-evaluated and found I had overpaid for my policy, or I'd have a textbook company get in touch with me and want me to evaluate a chapter for them, something.

I think of one of my favorite fairy tales as a child: I knew it as "Diamonds and Pearls" but the Folio Press version of Perrault I have refers to it simply as The Fairy. In the story, two children: one kind and good (and somewhat taken for granted), one selfish. The kind child is sent one day to draw water for the family, and she meets with an old woman. The old woman asks for a drink of water and the child tells her, "Of course" and makes the effort to rinse the pitcher first, and then take water from the clearest part of the well - simply because she is kind, and she is serving an old woman. But, it turns out, the old woman is a fairy in disguise, and she blesses the kind girl by making it so that whenever she spoke, diamonds and pearls would fall from her lips.

(Now, truth be told: I think that were that literally to happen, it would become very tiresome very fast. But even as a child I understood the symbolic meaning of the fairy's gift, that it was not so much literal diamonds and pearls, but "pretty is as pretty does")

Later, the selfish girl is sent out (the mother scheming to think that she could get another daughter with the same gift). This time, the fairy disguises herself as a princess. The selfish girl, upon being approached, is rude to the princess - thinking, "why should I get water for one so wealthy?" and the fairy wound up cursing her, so that snakes and toads would fall from HER mouth when she spoke.

And while it's just another version of the old "entertaining angels unawares" idea, it made a big impression on me - that you should treat everyone with respect, because you never really know who they are, and later on, that grew into the idea that you should treat people with respect not because they might be someone who can do something for you, but because...well, because they are a fellow human being.

And while I will admit to having been "burned" at times for treating people with kindness, there are also plenty of times where I found someone who started out surly or cranky became more friendly, more inclined to listen to me, because I had a kind word or said "Please" or "thank you."

Perrault is fond of putting rhyming "morals" (sometimes more than one) at the end of his tales; here is the one for the story referenced above:

Though -- when otherwise inclined --
It's a trouble to be kind,
Often it will bring you good
When you least believed it could.

.

Yes, I do think that's true. That making an effort to be kind does help. And making an effort to do good to benefit someone who needs it will come back to bless you somehow.

And it does seem in my life that when I need help in some way, it comes to me, and I sometimes wonder if that's partly because I've given help when it was needed.

Or, perhaps, on a more mundane level: because there are people willing to help at time A, when one of those people needs help at time B, there is still a critical mass of people able and willing to help.

And sometimes, people who are helped are able to turn around and help others. A couple Christmases ago, the pastor read a letter that had come to the church. Years back, our church had helped a person who needed it - who was in dire financial straits. Well, this person (who has since moved to another city) remembered it all that time, and when he finally got into a position where he could, he paid back what we gave him - and then some. With the idea that "you do good work" and that we could use the money to help others.

And last night, at the CWF party, the issue came up of a person we go to church with - no names were named but I could guess who it was from the description, even though I was probably not meant to - the person has recently had some major health issues and is no longer able to work. And while they are in the process of doing what they need to do to go on SSI and other forms of assistance, there's a time-lag. And there was some concern that this person and their family (an adult child and grandchild) would not have much of a Christmas - not even have enough food. And so we passed the hat and are going to send a member out to spend about $100 to get enough food to keep the family going for another week or so until the assistance kicks in after Christmas. (I hope the person will accept the gift; apparently they have been too proud to apply at the local food banks, even though they are exactly the sort of person for whom we have the food banks).

But to be able to do that - to be able to step in and fill that gap, that's important, that's one of the reasons why we get together as a group. One of the reasons why we call ourselves Christians. And maybe someday if someone else in the group needs help, someone who threw a ten or 20 dollar bill in the kitty, they will get helped themselves.

So in big things (like feeding a family who might not have much to eat otherwise) or little things (sending a cheer-up gift of sockyarn to a person who really, truly, doesn't "need" it but certainly appreciates it), kindness seems to be the thing that (to me) keeps the world on its axis - that when I look around and see people behaving in ways that are heartless and selfish, I kind of despair, but if I look a little closer, and maybe in different places, I can find people being big-hearted and selfless, and in a way it balances out, and maybe even the love edges out the selfishness just a little bit. There's an old Jewish saying that goes something like "With every selfless act a human does, God says, 'For this, I do not destroy the world.'"

And I think when people do nice things for you - and you know how it feels - you are much more prone, when you have the chance to do something similar for someone else, you do it - because you think about how it will make the person feel, and, if you're like me, it makes you happy to imagine the other person being made happy.

And so maybe kindness is like a good sort of virus, that as people get "infected" by others, they are prone to pass it on themselves.