This is going to be a long and rather personal post. Skip if you prefer.

Last night, working on the prayer shawl, I began thinking about all the things my parents have given me, all the things that have shaped my life because of both my mom and dad. Some of them were things I had taken for granted for years, but now I realize they are some of the things that make them, and me, different and unusual people.

Both of my parents are scientists. I am sure that affected my choice of professions. But they're not the single-minded kind of scientist (my mother more so than my dad). They've always had outside interests.

They're also both pretty avid readers, and avid book-owners. I'm sure that's influenced me, and that influence probably came down from my dad's dad, of whom someone once said "he'll wear that terrible old coat all winter, but spend his money on books." And frankly, I don't see anything so odd about hanging on to an old coat just so you can buy books.

We're also all pretty shy and non-demonstrative people. I mean, we know we all love each other, but we're not all sloppy hugging and kissing and crying over each other like some of my friends' families were. (It's going to be kind of hard for me to write up the description and information on the prayer blanket when I send it to my dad - and I'm going to HAVE to send it, I can't see delivering it in person, that's just too intense - because it's so personal).

Someone once commented about my family that she could imagine us "all in the evening, each in separate rooms, each with a book." Not meaning that we isolated ourselves from each other, but that we were the kind of people who weren't all so melded to each other that we couldn't separate.

When I was a kid growing up, many (most) of the family vacations involved National Parks. I have been to a great many National Parks, from Cape Cod to Hawaii Volcanoes, thanks to my dad's interest in them (and the fact that he taught a course in them and always looked for opportunities to get more slides and information). To this day, my idea of a "vacation" is not somewhere where you go and lie on a beach, but somewhere where you can hike around and learn stuff.

My love of classical (senso lato) music came from them. I never really realized that before: I just assumed, growing up, EVERYONE'S parents listened to classical music and had huge record collections (my best friend at the time had parents who were similar). Now, as an adult, I realize that my parents were actually pretty highbrow in that regard. And I still love classical music. And I still have happy memories surrounding the Andante Cantabile from Beethoven's Pathetique, because that was Karl Haas' "Adventures in Good Music" theme music, and I used to listen to that with my dad.

I remember, at age 12, my dad teaching me how to read a soils map so I could help him on some research he was doing. (When I was a teenager, he occasionally hired me as a lab or fieldwork assistant - and paid me for it [probably not off his grants!]).

I remember him once telling me that if someone told me I couldn't do some (academic) thing because I was a woman, it was my duty to prove them wrong.

I have a lot of jewelry he bought me. Most of it is Southwestern, a lot of it is by specific Native craftspeople and is signed. I don't wear it enough - I don't have many clothes that go well with turquoise.

Of course, from my mom I developed my love of needle crafts. She was always sewing when I was growing up. She also knits and crochets and quilts. I learned to sew when I was something like 6, and shortly thereafter began making my own stuffed animals (something I still enjoy). I remember she belonged to some kind of craft-book club and she would regularly buy stuffed-toy-making books - we had Joan Russel's book, and one by an Australian author that had some really neat small simple animals in it like a prairie dog and a bushbaby. She taught me to knit and crochet and got me interested in quilting.

I also used to follow her around in the garden when I was growing up - when I was a kid, we lived on nearly an acre of land, and a lot of it was garden. My mom canned lots of tomatoes and froze lots of beans. I think I get the drive to put in a garden every spring because of her.

I think my sense of humor is very similar to my dad's. I catch myself saying things or doing things that he would say or do. (This catches me up, just a little bit, when I'm worrying about his health).

What else to say? I'm sure there are many other ways they've influenced me, that I will continue to carry throughout my life. I'm very close to my parents, closer I think than most of my friends are, which is why this whole health thing with my dad has occupied so much of my thoughts. I will say, oddly, while working on the prayer shawl/afghan/thing last night, I had this feeling of calm come over me, this sense that everything would, ultimately, be all right. I hope that feeling was authentic and to be trusted.