THAT fieldwork's done...

 Finished up the summer sampling on a project that, I guess, my colleague is taking the lead on (I can't tell if it's mainly her project, or the one of an incoming grad student. Either way is fine as long as I at least get thanked in the acknowledgements). It was another tough day (there's a sort of steep downslope walking back out, and while I can go UP slopes fine, going down slopes hurts and also makes me worry I'm going to lose my balance if my knee glitches on me). Also, I don't love wading through tall grass where there are large fire ant mounds, or hummocks of dead grass, that you can't see. 

Next week is my site, I'm not looking forward to it because these two days were unusually cool days for July; next week is going to be unusually hot. We are starting at 7 am, but STILL it's gonna be tough.

I came in this afternoon and got three more of my soils samples done. I think I'm up to 15 out of 36. 

I'm working harder this year than I do most summers, and in a way, harder than I do in the regular semester.

* I knit a bit more on the plain ("Alive" colorway) socks last night but didn't have a LOT of energy to work on things. I want to get back to that shawl I re-started this week. Maybe tonight; I plan to watch Midsomer Murders given it's the summer rerun session and there's also a rumor there's going to be a presidential speech on most channels (I hope PBS goes a different way with that)

*Also speaking of M-titles mysteries - were you the one who had a boxset of the Murdoch Mysteries sent to me? I only know of a couple people where I referenced that I liked them (And I don't think it was on my wishlist). I admit I didn't open the package right after it came; I thought it was supplies for a fall lab I had ordered and I hadn't had time to open it.

So I was surprised when I did. (One of my fall-lab-things still has not come...)

If you sent it, thank you.

*I'm still enjoying reading "Far from the Madding Crowd." There are a few references I don't get (not being as familiar with the Early Victorian era in rural England) and a few unfamiliar words (which I should make a note of and look up. But I do like that it moves slowly (right now I am where "Shepherd Oak" is meeting with the men at the maltster's place, which I guess is almost like a rural pub, or is treated as such). I'm bracing for something sad or even tragic to happen but right now it's kind of calming to read. Maybe I need to shift back to Trollope later; as I remember most of his novels were largely comedies-of-manners and nothing very bad happened in them - and in this world, the way it is now? you need that. Or at least, I do. 

*I need to go in tomorrow and do a bunch more samples, but also feel like I would really love to go do something "fun." I'm telling myself to hold off, maybe next weekend, after (hopefully) successfully completing the other fieldwork. 

But I don't know now why it feels harder to put that kind of thing off, or why I sort of itch for some kind of a "treat" at the end of some days. I don't know if this is one of those "the world feels dangerous and unpredictable now, so I better grab happiness when I can" or if it's that I need to bribe myself to keep on going, or if it is because I really am kind of alone a lot (not when doing fieldwork, thankfully, but when I'm working in my lab or on slide decks it gets a little quiet and lonely). Or maybe this is one of the things the pandemic broke in me; I think a lot of us, six years on, are now considering just what has changed in the world and in us. 

*  I was also thinking about a thing today, about how people react to other people. One of the students yesterday commented that driving to the site, someone cut her off in a dangerous way, and yeah, I've seen that. And I've heard of people who describe other people dismissively (whether ironically or not) as "NPCs" (non-playing characters, like in video games) and don't really think of them as fellow humans. And I don't know. Maybe. Maybe the person who cuts you off is just inattentive and in a hurry or worrying about stuff. But if people genuinely do dismiss the humanity of others - or try to ignore it - that's a bad thing. And very different from how I was raised. 

I mean, I think of the old Parable of the Good Samaritan, where Jesus is talking to an expert in the law,  and Jesus advises him to love his neighbor, and his question right back* to Jesus is "And who is my neighbor?"

(*people really haven't changed, have they? Always looking for an out of doing the hard things that are the right things)

And Jesus launches into the parable, and I sometimes wonder if early hearers of the passage felt like "what is He on about now?" but of course as the parable unwinds, you understand, it makes sense. Or at least it should: everyone is my neighbor, and on some level I am responsible for them.

And that's how I was raised.

And you know? It's exhausting some times. It does cause me a certain amount of anxiety wondering about people's well-being and trying to do what I can to help it along. I don't think I'd rather be the other way (oblivious to the feelings of others) but it is exhausting. 

*And maybe that - that there's a lot of looking out these days, and a lot of concern, why I sometimes feel like I do need some kind of small treat. That I need to do something for myself that tells me "You matter." (Some days I don't feel it; some days it feels like most of the rest of society is telling me I DON'T matter).