not good day

 So, the carpenter didn't show up yesterday.

I kept waiting for him, thinking  "Well, maybe he'll be here in another half hour?" and it never happened. 

Finally, at 1:30 pm, I decided to try calling the oil change place to see if I could get my car in - nope, an hour and a half wait BEFORE my car would even go in. So I went for a short drive (which never helps as much as I think it will; I am just reminded of how much nothingness I am surrounded by)

Finally, I decided to text the GC last night

he didn't know the carpenter didn't show up. Said he'd call him. I haven't heard back but now I'm worried - accidents can happen, sometimes people will disappear without an explanation for days. But I've got open spots on my house and it's supposed to rain this weekend.

And that, on top of everything else, has opened up a vortex of stress. I know home repairs are supposed to be stressful, and I guess I did think Tuesday afternoon that things were going suspiciously well. But what do I do if the project can't be finished? Do I demand my money back and try to find a new contractor? And what happens if it's not done when classes start up? I have to be on campus. 

I hope the GC calls me, or at least the carpenter shows up soon. Yes, they have about a 40 minute commute (at least) so I don't expect them right now, but....

I'm also just stressing out over the pandemic. And the rise of monkeypox. I expect we'll be asked at some point to start sanitizing surfaces in the classroom again because this time, the disease CAN spread on surfaces. And I'm just so tired. And I feel like this was another Summer 2020, me at home almost all the time, got nothing done, had no fun, and....it's just bad. It's all bad.

it will be better if I find something out about the home renovation, but right now it's bad. I wish I weren't so alone in this, that's what makes it so hard.