this and that

- Diann, I *think* it's the first Charm School book, but I don't remember the cover of mine looking like that? But searching online, it seems that it's described as being listed in the book. (I can't find a table of contents; I might recognize some of the other pattern names). I'll have to check after I get home.

There's a "version 2.0" (which I do not like as well, however) that is free online.

- Stressful meeting (the last one for a while) is tonight; there are going to be a couple of unpleasant things discussed. Nothing I am *directly* involved in but second-hand discord affects me badly as well. I have decided that since I'm wearing slacks (it was a messy lab day) and have pockets, I am taking my Secret Fluttershy with me - one of the blindbag figures; I've taken her in my pocket a couple times when going to the dentist, for example.

- But yeah. Tomorrow afternoon, 3 pm, I will be done. At least for a while. (I have another PTR meeting Monday, and a gen-ed council meeting Wednesday afternoon next week). I am DEFINITELY* going to Whitesboro Saturday, and I might leave a bit early and swing by Ulta first to get my "birthday present" from them (they tend to be *incredibly* busy later in the day on Saturday, so if I want to be able to get a little personal attention and not just have some random-color lipstick - that might be wrong for me - shoved at me, I better go early).

I can't count on the 23rd being free; I still have not heard back from the Honors program, and frankly it seems unfair if you are asking people to volunteer that you don't tell them IF they are needed and WHEN they are needed until right before the thing. *If* I am not needed I might go that weekend too, and, I don't know, find something fun.

- I kind of wish I could draw better than I can (and had time to sit down and draw tonight) because I was talking on Twitter about how I should just go Full Tsundere for Valentine's Day (as in: "No! I don't need love or attention! Leave me alone! Baka!") because really, tsundere does fit a bit more how I have approached love in my life than anything: that hard shell to protect my squishy interior from being hurt (though with also a side order of being a little oblivious at times when a guy was interested in me, and probably drove him off with that).

But anyway: I threatened to do Tsundere Otter (because of my occasional handle on there of Acerbic Otter, which is an anagram of my actual name) - draw an otter in a Japanese schoolgirl dress (one of those sailor dresses, you know), with her arms folded and a bit of a scowl and muttering something about how Valentine's Day is "stupid."

(But yeah, the whole westernized version of the Tsundere Girl: sort of hard and brittle on the outside, but secretly wishing senpai would notice her, and actually kind of soft on the inside, that's my brand right there. Probably ridiculous for a 50 year old to be that way but whatever)

-Reading a couple different things right now. Still plowing away on "Père Goriot," but I am not fond at all of Vautrin and I find the whole cynicism thing kind of depressing. I'm also still reading "The Silver Branch," which I like a good bit better (Right now, Justin and Flavius are apparently slated to become spies to try to help bring down the usurper...). And I started "Cro-Magnon," a Brian Fagan book about, well, Cro-Magnons. I dunno. I find human pre-history interesting: how did people live? What did they do? What was their culture like? We can speculate at best, but it's still interesting to wonder how different their perception of the world was.

- I can tell I am stressed and tired; I was a little short with a couple of the students in lab today when they weren't following directions and almost messed up their experiment. (But yeah. I had done a pre-lab lecture, and I had written instructions in the lab manual, and I even had instruction cards typed out and on the table, so I don't know. One thing I do notice is that lots of people are....not that good at following directions. I don't know if I'm unusual or if it's a generational thing. I think I got good at it from cooking and baking as a kid - I learned to bake early, my mom would let me make cookies or cakes some times and she taught me to follow a recipe. Or that I've been crocheting/sewing/knitting for years and years, and in most cases I follow a pattern. Or that my brother and I played with LEGO as kids, back when the "instructions" for things were basically IKEA-like pictograms.... I suppose it's also maybe that the students care less than I do, because this is my job, but for them it's one lab out of many, and techniques they might never use again. But it's still frustrating)

I'm also just tired; this week has felt about a month long, and it's only Wednesday.

- At least I have the consolation now of not having to eat *quite* so restrictively, seeing as bloodwork came back good and I'm off the hook from doctors until...well, June, when I have to do the whole butt-stuff (as I am thinking of the colonoscopy) consult and all.

Not sure what my "Birthday Observed on Saturday" lunch will be. I might go to the barbecue place on the way back in to Sherman (Lovejoy's only serves a limited lunch on Saturdays).

I am thinking on my actual birthday of getting carry-out from a pretty good local barbecue place. Yes, carry-out, because I have no one to go with and it feels too sad to eat alone in a restaurant (even though I do it when I am traveling; that seems somehow different). If I had someone I felt comfortable asking, I would, and we could go there or to Roma's. But I don't, so I think I'll just get carry out and eat it at home.

- I probably need to go home and do something useful for a while. I am so apprehensive about this meeting tonight. I will be glad when it's over. I am already promising myself something good if I make it through without crying.