Got up this morning and did the dvd workout (even though one ankle was bugging me a little, but now it seems to be better. I can never tell these days if I low-level injured myself or if it's just stiffness/age - which often gets better with movement).
I am currently less anxious.
So maybe I need morning exercise? (Yesterday I didn't get up early to do it on the grounds that (a) I was mowing the lawn Tuesday and Wednesday and (b) I had done two days in a row and probably needed a rest day). As I joked on Twitter: crap, does this mean I'm now addicted to my own endocannabinoid system?
Or it could be the hardest lab (logistically) of the semester is now behind me, and also I know today I can go home for lunch (AND YES THAT MATTERS) and if I can get my rear in gear and finish this grading I won't have to take anything home with me...and my exam for next week is done.
(And yes, I know: there are "helps" if one isn't currently producing those natural "feel good" chemicals, but one of the simplest, and now-legal-here ones - CBD oil - is *probably* off-limits to me given some of my allergies to some of the things I think cross-react with hemp. Oh well. If exercise does it, then I keep up with the exercise, I guess, even though it kind of sucks to have to go to bed by 9 pm in order to get in enough sleep.
And yeah, just another reason I'm apprehensive about the increasing legalization/mainstream acceptance of pot, esp. pot smoking: sensitivities. I already really notice it when I'm somewhere around cigarette smoke (I think I've become more sensitive over the years, or maybe I've become less tolerant of it because most of the spaces I'm in are smoke-free). I'm hoping there's not a going-backwards where smoking becomes more common again because it's weed and not tobacco, and that maybe some of us have to curtail some of our social activities because of that.)
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I am looking forward to the weekend, though. Today and tomorrow are comparatively easy days, teaching wise, and I have Saturday off (provided I plow through the grading) and my tentative plans (provided it's not Ark weather) are to go to Sherman after New Pony and run to the JoAnn's and maybe the bookstore and the natural-foods store and the Kroger. A quick run, this time, I think. (Though if the weather is actually favorable, I reserve the right to run to the yarn shop as well). I should go and get some cash today so I am supplied in case my credit cards crap out again, though I strongly suspect that was a Target thing and the claim of "oh, your cards must have gotten compromised/Oh, the issuer must think it's unusual activity because you're out of state" was a covering-their-butts because I've now heard of other people who've had issues using their cards at the local Target. (And, gah, does everywhere have to have awful customer service now?)
Am thinking of getting some ground beef and maybe making meatballs for the coming week. More and more, I find "cook something big on Sunday afternoon that you can eat for much of the coming week" is the best option for food. For one thing: I prefer home-cooked food, and with my allergies/sensitivities/salt restriction, it's best for me. (Also, I dislike most frozen dinners, and there's a limited choice of restaurants here that do carry out - and I am enough of an introvert to feel discomfort going to a "nicer" restaurant alone for dinner. I'd go if a friend or colleague asked me to come with them or if a group were going, but alone - not so much)
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One of the things that came across Twitter this morning from one of those "positivity" accounts (Erin Ruberry): "Treat yourself as you would treat others" and that's an interesting thought to those of us who were raised strongly with the Golden Rule and who also tend to be our own worst enemies.
I tend to cut other people more slack than I cut myself. And maybe I need to cut myself more slack - like, if I just can't get some grading done right away so I hand the thing back the next class, handing it back in the class after that is okay. I know there are some nights these days when I sit down at home with my grading and my brain just rebels and my inner toddler lies down on the floor and starts to kick and scream because I DON'T WANT TO. I usually make myself (my Inner Adult is stronger than my Inner Toddler) but maybe I'd be happier if I didn't grade stuff the day I took it up (when I'm tired) and used that time to knit instead? I don't know.
I do know I need to be better about "speaking" to myself kindly and also sometimes giving myself permission to "flake" a little on some things. And to less try to soothe myself by buying stuff - I need to watch my pennies anyway (don't we all) and buying myself stuff is probably less restorative in the long run than taking that 30 minutes to either knit, or read, or just go to bed a little earlier when I'm tired.
Though my latest little treat does please me: I had heard the "Mix and Match Fashions" Equestria Girls mini dolls of Rarity and Twilight were out - and Amazon had them, and amazingly I got in before they were all bought up by third-party sellers, so I got each one for a decent price (probably about what I'd have paid at the wal-mart, if they ever got them - their toy-section stocking is mysterious; some weeks they have cool new stuff, and then they go months with nothing, and the section gets sad and messed-up as kids and parents plow through looking for what they want). I still haven't had much time to play with them, but did unbox Twi and change her clothes (and shoes). They come with a painted-on swimsuit (so that gets around the "underwear" problem, but also really does add play value, in that if the kid wants to play "swimming pool" with them, they only need take off the dress and shoes and she's ready to go). There are also replacement wigs and I admit I kind of love this newer touch - that you can change the hairstyles.
I wish there had been dolls like this when I was a kid; I might have played more with dolls: small size, easily changeable clothes (though clothes mattered less to me as a kid than they do now) and hair (ditto), poseable, have a more "adventurous" sort of backstory than I imagined Barbie as having. (Barbie was the big thing, as I remember, when I was a kid. Or maybe that was just in my particular set, I don't know. But American Girl dolls did not make the scene until I was really too old for that sort of thing, and there weren't that many "little girl" type dolls like the Penny Brite of an earlier era.)
I will admit I'm also scheming to see if there's a way I could sew some little additional dresses and things for them - even though I have yet to make the Barbie sundresses I've had pattern and fabric sitting on my sewing table for about a month. (Again, maybe I just need to put a hard limit on how late in the day I work, and, say, at 7 pm or so, just switch over to doing something "fun" even if it means the grading or whatever doesn't quite get done)
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