Exorcising bad dream

I'm gonna put the actual content below the jump, in case

a. You're one of those people who hates reading other people's dreams

or

b. You are susceptible to bad dreams yourself; I don't want my experience to give others bad dreams.

I think, though, this is partly the heat and humidity, partly the long stretches of being alone and working on things that will only have a very long-range "payoff" (the updating material for classes I won't teach until fall). This has been a bad-mood summer so far for me, and I'm sure the lack of a regular schedule, the lack of much human contact, and the heat are all contributing.

anyway, here goes


I woke up shortly after midnight last night in a panic. It was a dream that was bad enough I had to get up, walk into my living room, and *put the light on*. I don't like doing that because then I wake up fully and it takes me a while to get back to sleep, but this dream was one of a handful that left me feeling bad enough I had to.

I don't remember any but the last moments of it; that was enough.

I was driving somewhere. I had to drive over a dirt path on a "levee" that was between two pond areas. (I realize now that I'm awake it was very similar to the set-up going in to Pontotoc Ridge preserve, I may have remembered it from that - but there was only a pond on one side there). Anyway, I sort of missed the approach for the levee (for some reason, driving badly is a feature of many unpleasant dreams I have) and I realized I was going to run off the edge and maybe wind up a little in the pond. I figured: the car will run in and I'll maybe be in somewhere between 6" and a foot of water, either I'll be able to back out fine or else the car will get stuck but I'll be able to wade out and get help.

Nope. In my dream, it was like the "pond edge" was the edge of a dam, or a water-filled old quarry - the car immediately started sinking, going down 10, 15 feet. It was suddenly pitch black, I could not see a thing. And I started scrabbling around on the console between the seats, looking for the "window hammer" device I keep there (this is something I have IRL and hope to never have to use). I could not find it, couldn't feel it anywhere. (Remember, at this point in the dream I couldn't see a thing). I could feel cool water seeping in around my ankles...I thought, okay, if I can keep my cool, once the water rises to a certain level, I can grab the door handle, open the door, and swim up and out.

So I reached for the door handle. I couldn't find it. (The car was still sinking; it must have been a very deep pond). The water was entering very slowly though. But I thought, "oh man I'm going to die in here. No one will find me for days. This is terrible."

And then I woke up. As is often the case with bad dreams there's a moment of confusion ("What the heck?") followed by relief ("Oh man it was just a dream"). But I still felt shaky so I had to get up and get out of bed for a while....

I also found myself thinking of one of those old "kid urban legends" I heard somewhere. I never heard enough detail of it to know the full meaning.

Essentially, it says: If you die in a dream, you die in real life.

When I was a kid (remember: I was exceptionally literal minded), I took that to mean, "If you die during a dream you die right then, no one will know that you 'died' in your dream because you're dead."

Now I wonder if it really meant: "If you die in your dream that is a precognition that you will die SOON in real life" (not that you die right then).

I don't know. This is one of those dreams where I came *close* to dying (or it felt like it) but I woke up before it actually happened, so....I guess I don't have to worry about testing that hypothesis right now.