Sunday, July 16, 2017

Sunday afternoon stuff

Still feeling kind of sad. I suspect it's the weather. I do not deal well with heat and humidity.

* My student e-mailed me; she's going to be back tomorrow morning and will start weeding even if she gets there before me. I'm relieved even though I'm not looking forward to working out in the heat (I feel like it's partly my project so I need to help).

* I'm glad I'll be mostly off hose-duty for a few days. It gets really old really fast.

* Today, as I was leaving, a campus police officer drove up (across the grass!) to where I was parked to check up on me. Not to see if I was OK (I was walking back to my car) but to be sure I was "supposed" to be there. He recognized me, which was good (I had my faculty ID in my purse but would have had to hunt for it if challenged) but I admit, driving back, I thought a little irritatedly: "Okay, so I'm not invisible after all."

Yeah, I'm still unhappy about what happened yesterday. And it bothers me that my usual mode of acting - of being polite and non-pushy - didn't get me what I wanted, and it was only some hours later when I was at home that I realized I COULD have done something like said loudly "HEY YOU MOVE YOUR CART" but that kind of thing doesn't occur to me as a behavior.

It's probably good, because people being what they are, you say that to the wrong person and you wind up in the hospital.

But yeah - the whole reason I drag out to the grocery at 7 am is to avoid people-problems.

And it makes me sad that in the world today, politeness seems to be heard and so often things default to that person yelling "HEY YOU MOVE YOUR (EXPLETIVE) CART"

It does often seem to me that I don't get "heard." I'm not quite able to ramp it up and to be louder or more aggro, so I kind of just go around being sad and not-heard and actually being surprised when someone does hear me. 

(I also wound up having to go 2 other places to get spinach: I won't buy the brand the wal-mart carries because I did once and it was terrible. But Green Spray had none, I asked the produce guy and he apologetically said they didn't get any in in the most recent shipment. So after watering today I ran to Pruett's and they had some. But yeah.....I'm honestly more prone to go without than do the "run around to many different stores" thing. But stir-fried spinach was the only thing that appealed to me for dinner...)

* I'm still grieving M.'s death, I guess. (I can't go into a lot of detail about "why no funeral/memorial service" other than that her step-son is being....a bit difficult). Today in the prayer, the minister referred to her, and said the standard* "May eternal light shine upon her" and I had to shed a few tears sitting there in the pew.

(*Not so standard for Disciples of Christ, though; that's a slightly unusual usage in our denomination. This minister is more "high church" than the last few we've had and I have to say I LIKE that. I like some level of formality in things)

Part of me feels like I've been mourning her for a long time - she first took sick in January 2016.

* I dug out the Hagrid scarf and realized I'm just one more set of pattern repeats (something like 35 rows) from done, so now I'm going to push to get that done - I really need to clear out a few ongoing projects.

Edited to add: been working on it some more. I may have this done in another day or two...

* I have a headache. Pretty sure it's the heat, humidity, and allergies. I need to do the rest of piano practice and maybe shower to see if that makes me feel better. 

* Also, I broke down and ordered myself a stuffed Pikachu on Amazon. Had been thinking of getting one for a while, but watching that Pikachus-dancing video pushed me over the edge. I've also kind of off and on been watching the "Sun and Moon" series that Disney XD (I think it is) shows. It's....oddly cute and nice. I dunno, I just like cartoons. Cartoons are better than real life in a lot of ways, and I find many cartoons more relaxing and entertaining than "shows for grown ups."

Pikachu is supposed to arrive tomorrow. That makes me happy; tomorrow is going to be a long day between the weeding and I also have an AAUW executive board meeting in the afternoon. 

Next week is just going to be long anyway because Thursday and Friday I do Meals on Wheels, which I am still slightly apprehensive about even as I realized part of my funk is that I feel like I'm not doing anything "useful" to other people - all the work I seem to be doing right now is "for me" and I think I get down when I feel like I'm not reaching out to help others.

And I just confirmed for Saturday that Laura and I are going to meet up in Longview, which makes me happy - something to look forward to. I don't NEED any yarn but I will probably buy some, or at least get a pattern and maybe an extra set of needles or two.

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