Saturday, November 26, 2016

Safely home again

Thanksgiving break is too short. It still seems weird that I left Monday and here I am home again.

Some random thoughts:

* I forget a lot of things about small children (my niece is 4). Like, how they can get wound up so easily (one evening she was running around snorting like a pig. Apparently she is a "night person" like my brother - hard to get to bed at normal little-kid bedtime, grumpy in the morning. I am just the opposite and my mother tells me I have ALWAYS been that way - that there was no fight to get me to bed and I was always up early and usually cheerful first thing in the morning. I still am - I usually feel most content with life first thing in the morning and if I feel bad at night, a night's sleep often cures that.)

Also, how something that an adult would shrug at, or chalk up as one of the thousand small disappointments you weather in life (like, the house being out of black olives when you want some) is a MAJOR TRAGEDY when you are a small child. I suppose because most of children's "agency" is in things like throwing tantrums when you can't get what you want, but most mature adults realize that tantrums are counterproductive.

I will admit, Thanksgiving night, to feeling some minor annoyance - my mother and I were rushing around trying to do the last few things (mashed potatoes, making the gravy, getting the table set) and my niece thought it was greatly amusing to sit there and repeatedly chant "Where's the food! Where's the food!" (My brother and sister in law were amused by that. Perhaps had they been cooking they would have not been so amused, I do not know).

I think ..... I think my decision not to have children was the right one. (Well, it was a decision largely determined by the circumstance of not having a male partner or husband....I would not want to raise a child on my own). But I lack patience with unreasonable beings, which children by definition are. Oh, I could bite my tongue or leave the room when things got bad, but the thought of dealing with that day in and day out? No.

* The dog seemed to remember me better than my niece did. And he wanted more to spend time with me. (Granted: she doesn't get much time with her mom, who works long hours, so she was pretty stuck to my sister-in-law the whole time).

And yes, I said I lacked patience with "unreasonable beings" but a well-trained dog is actually somewhat reasonable, and this dog is well enough trained that I can sternly say "Leave it!" if we are out walking and he wants to eat a leaf or roll in something untoward and he will obey.

* I had been thinking, "Wow, it would be nice for me to get what I wanted by crying for it" but then again - coming up on the train, the car attendant was one I know (Brad) and he came to me at first apologetic - he knows I like to eat dinner early but the only time left was 7 pm. I said that was okay (I didn't want to make him bring dinner to my room - it was a full sleeper and I figured he'd be busy enough). A few moments later he came back and said, "There's a cancellation at 5:30 if you want it" Yes, I wanted it, and I thanked him for thinking of me. (And I always tip). And I suspect that my history of tipping, being polite, and not being overly demanding got me what I really wanted at that point.

* I did finish a pair of simple socks, ones I'd had on the needles since July. And I got about 100 rows done on the new scarf. Other than that, I didn't do much (other than the random odd jobs that get found for the unmarried child of the family on vacations like that).

* I had been having troubles with my stomach again on Monday - I don't know if I got another little dumb virus or if something else is going on. They cleared up by Monday night which was good because I was afraid of eating a "normal" train-diner dinner if they were still bad. (I worry about my gall bladder, but I'm becoming convinced that that's not it, because I ate several rather heavy meals while on break and had not a problem at all). I am now wondering if it is

a. I can't take my antihistamines before eating; I will have to take them WITH breakfast like my blood-pressure medication, rather than before. Ideally, I'd like to taper off of them and I am trying an experiment of not taking the loratidine for a few days to see if the hives get any worse or stay the same. If they stay the same, I'm going to quit taking THAT because I do worry about all the meds I am on frying my liver.

b. Something down here I'm allergic to that is causing internal hives. I actually kind of suspect this.

c. The early-morning workouts on an empty stomach are not good for me but I don't know how to fix that; I can't insist on having 40 minutes open every afternoon to workout, nor can I get up an extra hour early and eat FIRST and then wait for the food to settle and then work out. At least on days when I can be fairly sure of being able to steal 40 minutes in the afternoon I can sleep in and work out later in the day.

d. Stress. I notice I get indigestion worse during busy times of the semester

Or  some combination of those. It may just be something I have to periodically live with, as unpleasant as it can be. At least, as I said, I don't think it's anything that will necessitate surgery, which was my big worry.

* I found out driving home Fidel Castro died. I....don't really feel sad about that death. I doubt it will mean much change for the people of Cuba, though. It's just weird. (I think of my mom talking about the Cuban Missile Crisis that happened a few years before I was born)

But also - the allergist my family used to go to, who had had a form of leukemia for years (and had undergone an experimental treatment) died. That one is sadder and yes it does seem that 2016 has taken a LOT of people (Florence Henderson, too, I see)

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