Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Good and bad

The good:

- exams are finally graded. I have one to type for next week but should have no more grading before Monday, and that can (and will) wait until after Thanksgiving.

I really burn out on grading like nothing else.

- I knit most of the rest of the first mitt during the exams today. I don't hate them any more and figure they will be an adequate gift to exchange.

(I also recognize I'm a perfectionist and my "adequate" is probably many people's "pretty good". And yes, "adequate" always makes my mind blip to that song because that's how my brain works)

- Later this week - Thursday, maybe - I think I am putting up most if not all of the rest of the decorations for Christmas. Because I can. And because I need it.

- The fairy lights. Oh, they make SO MUCH of a difference, having them up.

- I am going to try my best to finish the little critters tonight (finally, a new NCIS episode) because I think I've been stressing slightly over not having these done.

- At least next week I have a long train ride where I can be alone in my compartment and just read. Not sure what project if any to take along, because of being in a house with a toddler (4 is still toddler, right?) and a dog, and both of them tend to be Enemies of Knitting. Maybe a crochet project - maybe I dig out the never-finished Test Pattern Blanket and try to make a few more of the squares for that.

The not-so-good:

- My stomach is acting up a little again. Pain in the same place as before (January) though not as bad. I'm going to baby it for a few days and hope it passes. I suspect it's stress because:

- My dad fell again this weekend. Not badly, he's not hurt, but still, it worries me A LOT and it brings up the whole specter - especially on the heels of losing my cousin - of the whole "But how will I 'celebrate' when I'm all alone and it's just me?" Oh, I am sure I'll find a way but again, with our town losing more and more of the sweet little things that made it more than a wide place in the road between Tulsa and Dallas, it's harder to find a silver lining.

I was also hopeful because he had been back to doing PT on a treadmill in a pool ("Like they have for rehabbing injured racehorses!" the PT guy helpfully told him) and his balance sounded like it was improving, so I don't know.

- I'm slightly apprehensive about my ability to deal with the low-level chaos of being in a house with too many other people (and a dog). Oh, I like the dog okay and everything it's just, it's a lot of people and I'm kind of stretched to my limit of coping right now, and the traditional thing is that as the un-familied child, I wind up taking on extra tasks like doing dishes and that's not so good given my current mood status of: Feeling Totally Taken Advantage Of.

- And yeah, I can tell something's wrong because I had a student today, on his way out the door after completing the exam, ask me "When do you think you'll have grades posted" and I said "hopefully by tomorrow afternoon" but I admit I wanted to cry a little bit at that point because it feels sometimes like grading is ALL I do.

The then-again:

- I have had students comment on how fast I get grading back, and I used to really pride myself on that, though I admit of late it's been burning me out a little. Still, I do it, because I feel like it's one thing that sets me apart.

- I have ginger beer (= nonalcoholic; like a strong fancy ginger ale) and ginger tea and yogurt and that will be dinner tonight to help my poor stomach. (Which is a little better right now after a hot shower; when it was at its worst heat was one of the few things that would help).

- I really REALLY really need to think hard about things to ask for for Christmas and come up with a list. Maybe that's an activity for tomorrow evening....

1 comment:

Joan said...

I don't mind being the one who ends up in the kitchen at family gatherings. It makes me feel useful without being too taxing (it gives me a chance to regroup in relative peace and quiet). Will you have your own room to retreat to? Auntie Erica may need the occasional time out. ;)