Monday, November 07, 2016

Call me "Derpy"

Yet another way that Ponyville is better than the real world: there is no evidence Derpy Hooves beats herself up for foolish mistakes.

Yeah, I'm 0-for-2 today.

First, and biggest: when I called the computer guys and asked for SPSS to be reinstalled, I said "in the computer lab - 201" because I was genuinely remembering that as being the room's number. It is not. It is 202, right next door. Because computer guys tend to be excessively linear thinkers, they interpreted room 201 as "the computer lab" despite the fact that it has but one computer (the instructor computer) in it.

So it was my incredibly boneheaded mistake that slowed the whole thing down, and then I was badmouthing the computer guys for being slow. I feel like an utter and complete idiot and it makes me sad. And they have to come back over here and fix it because I was stupid because they can't just give me the disk and admin privileges and show me how to install it on all 20 computers myself.

(Hm. Maybe I can use this to my advantage. I can see if 201 has a class in it at 9 and if not, I can meet the class in there and just make them WATCH me work through it instead of dealing with fifteen people going "my login is hung up" and five people deciding they'd rather update their FB status instead)

Second: when I made up the review sheet for the upcoming exam in there, I just updated an older one. Guess what I forgot to update? The date of the exam. Someone made a deal about it in class today and I admit I snapped at them a  little bit because (a) last week, when I did this, was so cruddy and (b) I have issues with the fact that no one sees the fifteen balls I'm actually juggling, just the one I happened to drop.

Well, also because, you know what? When I was a student, we didn't get review sheets. Our notes were our review sheet. And now I have students in another class whining at me because I ONCE put asterisks next to the "Extra Important Topics" and because I forgot to (because the whole damn world was falling in around my ears last week, thankyouverymuch) on the most recent review sheet ALSO AND PLUS I was doing it on very short notice because someone ELSE was whining at me about "can we have it eeeeeearrrly" and ugh.

It would be so much easier for everyone involved if I were just perfect and never made mistakes. Or if the mistakes I made only affected me. But I've made a lot of mistakes this fall and I conclude it's that the monteleukast or maybe the beta blocker is finally having its revenge and it's making me stupid and forgetful and I was actually contemplating this morning if dying 20 years early because of a vascular event would be worth the increased mental sharpness from going off the beta blocker and I hate to say it, but it's a trade I'm almost willing to consider.

I hate feeling dull and stupid and not having enough energy to get done what I want to get done.

I'm teetering on the brink of a bad headache and my sinuses feel congested and I tweaked my knee working out yesterday so decided not to get up to work out this morning but it seems like I ALWAYS pay for that by having a crummy day when I don't work out, so I don't know. I'm going to go home early and make myself do the darned workout because if I have to switch to a new doctor I don't DARE let my body gain even one ounce, and better if I can lose some weight first, because most doctors really hassle you about weight. And I can't starve myself, even though extreme calorie restriction is the fastest and most sure way to lose weight.

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