Monday, October 10, 2016

Monday morning things

* The new sheets don't seem noticeably hotter or sweatier. (I have a set of sateen-weave sheets I only use on the coldest of winters, because for some reason that sateen-weave - or maybe the heft of the sheets - seems to trap heat like crazy). They feel a little weird but I tend to be Princess and the Pea like that. (Huh. I wonder if there's anyone suggesting/rewriting that old story to have her be a "non-neurotypical" person. I've taken numerous online tests out of curiosity; none have ever hinted at Asperger's but I do admit I have some of the sensory issues - certain noises REALLY bother me, persistent odors bother me, strange "feeling" things bother me). Not bad enough for me not to sleep, and in fact, I so epically faceplanted into the pillow that I woke up with a little hive on one eyelid. (It went away after exercising, which tells me it was a pressure hive and not an allergic one)

* Monday continues apace. I had a meeting this morning that turned out to be more, I'm not sure what the right word is? Not quite filled with conflict but less of a simple in-and-out decision than I expected. And again with the having to weigh everything we do against budgets in this world of not-even-flat funding.

of course, that was followed by the class I have with the student with attention problems who interrupts me on a regular basis. I think I'm starting to show the strain of this. I try to remain gracious (the person in question is someone with accommodations and I believe they revealed an old closed-head injury to me in an earlier class they took) but it's hard.

* No, I didn't watch the debate. In fact, I was trying to finish up (but didn't) The War that Ended Peace.

World leaders really haven't changed much in 100 years, that's all I can say.

Next book up is one on the "Spanish" flu, so I guess  my reading has a theme now. 

* This is one of those days. I have another class to teach, and then the planting to do (my missing seeds are set to come today, so there will be planting tomorrow also). And then piano, and then CWF. If I'm lucky I'll be home for the night at 8:30. I hate the second week of the month.

* I have an added duty this week....I am filling the pulpit (again) this weekend, as the person who usually does it is out of town. As much as I once said, "I have exactly two sermons in me" I guess it's time to hunt up a third.

I am probably doing Mary and Martha, and centering it around the idea that there are times for things (and maybe pull in that famous passage from Ecclesiastes). Honestly, I think Martha gets a bit of a bad rap there - yes, I suppose she could sit down for a few minutes and listen to Jesus teach, but as a Martha-type, I admit I find myself going, "Yeah, but the mutton won't cook itself and the floor won't sweep itself." (Also, poor Martha, she is probably too literal-minded for her own good - after all, she is the one who tried to stay Jesus' hand from opening Lazarus' tomb, saying, "But it's been four days! Surely there will be a stink!" Yeah, in some ways I am a total Martha).

So I'm gonna have to do some background reading to try to stretch it out to at least 20 minutes.

I mean, I'm happy to do this and I guess I'm the next most logical person (despite being unordained) to do this,'s just another THING.

* Week after this is mid-fall break. I don't have any plans but I think Laura said she was going to be free so maybe we get together and go shopping or find a cool museum somewhere in East Texas to go to. I need a day out away from my responsibilities - shoot, I probably need TWO days out and depending on what transpires I might take one of the "off" days and go to Whitesboro again.

Yes, I know: I own more yarn and fabric than I will ever use up. But somehow, going to a small shop and spending a little disposable income on some makes things better. And I want to do my part to keep THOSE shops alive, seeing as the one in my town is gone. (Shoot, much of downtown's shops are gone now....)

And if I can get to a Michael's (I'm still mad at JoAnn's and the Hobby Lobby has nothing usable), I need to pick up some plain worsted-weight washable (ideally mostly acrylic) yarn for Christmas presents for my niece. She loves bugs and "critters" and I have a book - it's actually a book of cat toys but many of them are quite realistic representations of small creatures (there is a v. cute frog, for example, and ladybugs and a dragonfly and a grasshopper and a caterpillar) and I plan to make a few for her for Christmas.

there's also a cupcake/small cake pattern and I keep thinking I should turn it into a muffin for my stuffed Derpy.

I was also thinking last night, "Harry maybe needs a sweater" and thinking about modding a v. tiny baby sweater pattern to fit him, or maybe just trying to work up a raglan pattern as I go along....but again, where will I find the time? Carving out time to do what I want is hard these days, but at the same time I fear taking too much time off, that I won't hit those mileposts for post-tenure review or for whatever is now expected in the brave new world of modern academia.

(I will laugh my head off if the recommendation I get is "needs to slow down a little " - which is the recommendation we are giving my chair in her review. But I don't know. My ability to assess my own quality and my own work level is so broken that I don't know if I'm okay, if I'm seriously slacking, or if I'm working too hard....)

* Yesterday the "Children's Message" had to do with sharing love. The kids had cut out paper hearts and written "Love" on them (and I guess some kids are still learning cursive, either in school or at home* because mine has it in nice, neat, little-girl cursive). They handed them out to the congregation (we are small, so it wasn't that many hearts...).

(*It's possible the one I got was from one of the homeschooled kids; I know there are a couple in the group) 

I kept mine. I carried it over here today and taped it up on the wall behind my desk, right next to the computer monitor. To remind myself. Because I find this fall, especially this election season, a lot of my dormant misanthropic tendencies are coming out (and my tendency to view humanity through a pessimistic lens). I have to remind myself that (a) I can "be the light" for other people* and (b) there are good and loving people around me and just because a few people out there AREN'T, it shouldn't let it sour how I interact with others.

(*And of course - whatever light I have in me is not me, it is just shining through me, but at least I can let it shine)

I'm also dealing right now with someone on a slow glide path to retirement who is letting a lot of either stored-up or recently-developed bitterness out, and it's kind of hard to cheerfully listen to their vitriol on a regular basis. 

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