I got nothing (II)

Humanity is awful, am turning off the news.

I have a meeting this morning and also need to go and do some grading or I think I'd pop in some movie (maybe rewatch Zootopia, but in the French dub this time, or maybe watch The King's Speech which I bought a long time back and never watched yet) and knit or crochet.

It's still hot here and that doesn't help. I wound up turning my AC up to 78 last night because I was afraid of overworking the unit and also we've had some little brownouts that tell me too many people are trying to use power.

I dunno. Part of me wants to point to all my doki doki unboxing pictures from last night and go "look there are good things in the world and even though a lot of stuff is badly messed up there are still reasons to find happiness" but another part of me wants to go "humanity is so messed up right now and I feel really stupid posting these pictures because there are big, super-serious things going on in the world" and I don't like that kind of cognitive dissonance so it makes me sad.

Added: later: what really did me in? The photo of the DART cop crying (and hugging someone) at the hospital. Part of it is because it's a specific way in which I openly admit I'm sexist: when I see someone I perceive as a "big strong man" crying, I immediately think, "Wow, that is a big bad thing that happened, it must be extreme to make that guy cry." Nevermind that I don't know the cop concerned; maybe he is someone who cries easily, maybe he was crying because the woman he was hugging was the wife or daughter of one of the deceased. But still, a gut wrenching photo and there have been too many gut-wrenching photos of late.

(Also, where the main sniper attack took place? I've been there. Apparently it's right close by the train station, right next to the Greyhound station, and in the early days of my traveling, before I knew of Mineola and Longview I'd take the Greyhound to Dallas and then a taxi to Union station. I don't do that any more because driving to Mineola is easier and I admit the crowds and the "urban canyon" effect of a city downtown are unsettling to me, but I know where it is....)

There was a story making the rounds last week about a psychologist who helps out with exorcisms, with literal exorcisms. He claims he "should not believe" in the possibility of  demonic possession but based on things he has seen....*I find I myself wondering if there aren't some agents of evil walking the earth now, doing things like firing into what was (from all accounts) a peaceful protest where one of the more open police forces in the nation was watching over the protestors and even having their photos taken with them....

I don't know. Five years ago I'd be furiously knitting on a hat or a pair of gloves to donate somewhere as a way of trying to counteract hate with love....but I admit I'm kind of out of energy for that. I said on Twitter - after posting a link to what was just a silly, funny story that happened to an artist who went to a convention - that all I had were prayers and links to funny stories and I was starting to run out of prayers (an allusion to the infamous "chewing gum and kicking tail" comment that some others have made....)

So I don't know. I'm THIS close (imagine fingers held a millimeter apart) from going full on blanket fort, because I just am tired of humanity right  now.

(*I am a scientist but I am also a believer in God and I would not be surprised to learn at some point that it was literally possible for evil - as a force- to possess a person and cause them to do things)