Kind of scattered

I know, I need to come up with some more consistent, single-theme posts, and to talk about what I'm actually doing more, but it's a bad allergy season and lots of other stuff is going on, so. If I can get my stuff together later this afternoon I'll at least do Ponies In Dresses photos.

* Also, Lydia: thank you. I probably should get/make myself a set of those prayer beads (I have some beads on hand that might be the right size). The last time I badly needed calming over something (all the health questions about my dad some 10 years ago) I knitted a prayer afghan for him and in a way, moving the knit stitches around are like moving beads. And it helped. I don't know that my praying necessarily had any effect on the (ultimately good) outcome but I know it helped me keep my head together better during the day. 

* I started New Pony last night. I felt like I wanted to crochet so I got out the pollen-yellow yarn and started (and nearly finished) the head for Sylvie Culture. The more of these I make the faster they seem to go.

* I did spend some time Sunday afternoon sewing on the current quilt top. I got a couple more blocks finished and a bunch more started. I THINK I cut enough sashing to do 36 blocks but I think I will stop at 30. Thirty blocks in a 5 x 6 array would be 80" x 96", an extremely generous size for a double bed. Thirty-six would be 96" x 96", which would probably have its ends lying on the floor - too big.

Also, now there's the whole issue of getting quilts actually quilted being more difficult. Yes, I can try calling the person in Sherman but there's the whole thing of getting them down there and back, and also I don't know if she's more expensive than the quilt shop was, and yes, I am going to need to watch my pennies in the coming months....we are all weathering a nearly 10% pay cut because of the bad budget and while I can absorb it, I'm going to have to be v. strict with myself and use stash stuff instead of buying new stuff. I am deciding that 10% cut is my discretionary spending; I could drop cable but I think I'd rather keep it and cut discretionary spending.

I AM going to keep getting the Doki-Doki crates; they are $30 a month but they bring me so much happiness and give me something to look forward to and I desperately need that.  But I'm not going to buy new yarn or fabric for a while. I will probably also not do the scholarship-giving I've done in the past; I feel like if I need to triage my giving, my church goes to the very top of the list, groups like Mercy Corps that help people in disaster situations are second, environmental things like Nature Conservancy are third....and scholarship-giving falls to the bottom. It's sad but it's how life has to be. I am not going to cut back on what I give to my church; we are always struggling financially and I see what good they do directly.

Also I have lots of canned goods ahead and I should make sure to work down the older (closer to expiration date) cans of salmon and beans and things like that.

* I will say there are a couple of possibly tiny bright spots that suggest the budget might improve, or at least not get worse. And I sent the information from our president to my dad for him to look over. My dad is a retired low-level college administrator (was a department chair for years and years; before that he was a Coordinator of Research) and he thinks what is being done is pro-active and will probably prevent future problems. So I'm going to trust my dad, that he knows what he's talking about.

* I don't talk politics much on here but I will make one general observation about why I get so disgusted with politics and some of the things that go along with it. I was raised, both in family and church, with what is sometimes formally called the "servant leader" model (I never heard that term before living here, but that does seem to be the term used). In other words: when you're in charge, you are servant to all. The few times I've had something resembling power (head of the Curriculum Committee, president of the local AAUW chapter), I kind of hated it and was eager to give it up because I felt like having the authority to make decisions was a heavy responsibility, and I had to balance the needs of everyone in the group and do what was "best" for the majority. (Even if it wasn't what I wanted).  (Also, being a committee chair and the like has really no perks....you don't get free lunches, you don't get flex time off, nothing)

And it seems too often in modern politics, that those who manage to claw their way up the ladder get more interested in what is best for THEM and in what THEY can get out of it as perks. (My dad refers to it as "The Washington Disease" - that incumbents do anything for re-election because they want the perks to keep on coming).  I was not formerly in favor of term limits because of the "What about that one good guy (or woman)?" arguments but I've since changed my mind.

And even beyond politics. I was frustrated the other day to hear there's a school district that's in trouble with the state because apparently someone or someones in its leadership apparently misappropriated state funds by writing checks for personal items. And the funds....I guess you could ALMOST say, "embezzled"....were ALMOST as much as OUR most recent budget shortfall, and while I get that the money probably comes from different pots, still, it's state money, and it's money that's not there to do what it's supposed to be doing. (I even feel guilty if I have to print a "personal" e-mail at work for some reason, aware that the paper I am printing it on and the ink was paid for by the state. Of course, I did pay for the crickets for one of the labs I taught out of my own pocket, and I like to use "sidewalk chalk" on our terrible chalkboards so I buy that myself, but still)

* I dunno. I need to spend more time in my sewing room. The times I feel the clearest and most unalloyed happiness are when I'm working on something that takes my full concentration, whether it's sewing a quilt top (that seems to work better than anything, though), or writing a research proposal (I worked some on one yesterday afternoon), or knitting some really complex lace. Part of it is that I'm "making" something but part of it is that I'm not having to deal with other people - I'm working with information, or fabric, or yarn, and I understand and trust those things, and I don't always understand or trust other people.