Too old for

Roger riffed on this idea (which he got from elsewhere). I like it, it's kind of "New Year's Resolutions without being Resolutiony" and also allows me to vent about a few things.

I am (I THINK) a few years younger than Roger but I definitely have things I am too old for:

1. Uncomfortable clothes (too tight, too short for my mental comfort, pinchy, scratchy, whatever). I'm not a mom, but I tend to wear "mom jeans" when I wear jeans because I'm DONE with worrying whether the waistband of my underwear is showing when I bend over (yes, I know, the idea with those lower cut jeans is that you wear a thong or go commando, but that's another thing I'm too old for). I wear my skirts a little longer and/or a little fuller than fashion dictates because that's what I like. I want skirts I can walk comfortably in, and I have a long stride, so long full skirts are the best.

2. Being told by someone who is not my doctor what I need to do for my health. The whole "fitness challenge" thing felt very intrusive and very patronizing to me - and dangit, I exercise ALREADY, have been doing so daily or almost daily since I was 24, so where do my higher-ups get off telling me I "really should be" exercising? Same thing with food. I hate the food-nannying because honestly? I think that everyone probably needs a slightly different diet - that some people do better with low-fat, high carbohydrate, some people need more protein, etc. And it's up to each person, maybe with a doctor's help, to figure that out for themselves, not to let someone slap a one-size-fits-all eating recommendation on them.

And similarly, I am done (or wish I could be done) with feeling guilty for the occasional sweets I eat. (That said: I read something, can't remember where, suggesting people that ate a larger amount of dark chocolate - my favorite indulgence - had a lower risk of stroke than people who abstained or ate just the tiny morsel that is "recommended." So I don't know). I have to limit LOTS of things - low salt, no celery, no nuts, nothing in the Anacardiaceae, be very careful about cucurbits....so sometimes it's nice to know I can eat a snack cake or a brownie and just not worry.

3. Snark. I am just tired of it. I'm tired of the attitude that some take that nothing can be cool or amazing because everything should be critiqued. I'd rather just go "Oh, that's cool" and enjoy something non-ironically. It seems like such a middle-school attitude to me, to never be awed or excited by anything and to have to pretend you're too cool to care and that always finding the one wrong thing about something makes you somehow, I don't know, smarter than everyone else.

4. Similarly, being around people who have to complain about Every Little Thing. Sometimes it's nice just to be able to go, "Yeah, it's not perfect, but you know? It's better than it could be, so I'm going to be happy about it." I especially feel this way when people complain about other people. We all have things about ourselves (and I definitely include myself in this) that makes us less than lovable some times, and I find it's easier just to look for the good aspects of someone and down play the not-so-good ones.

5. People judging others for aesthetic choices. So you like dystopian novels and I don't. That's fine. I have my reasons for not liking them, just as I am sure you have your reasons for liking them. But don't tell me I'm "stupid" or "shallow" because I want books that have happy endings or where the characters work through problems and see better times. And the whole "You watch cartoons so you must be afraid of being a grown-up" bit.

6. Unnecessary discomfort. Yes, I know the whole carbon-footprint argument, and the whole money-saving argument, but I'm not going to keep my thermostat at 65 in the winter - it makes my hands and feet hurt (stupid beta blockers, I blame them for that) and I walk around kind of chilled all the time. I work hard for my pay and if I choose to spend some of that on being warm (or cool in the summer), that's my business. Also, I don't drive nearly as much as some people, so the whole "carbon footprint" argument isn't as valid. Similarly, I'm unapologetic about spending the money for a sleeper compartment on the train - I know, as an introvert and a "difficult" sleeper that I will be much more comfortable and will be happier the next day if I can have those hours away from people, where it is comparatively quiet, and where I can lie down instead of merely reclining. The older I get, the more I realize there's not really any virtue in making yourself suffer unnecessarily, and in fact, if I am in pain or haven't slept I'm more likely to be cranky or weepy and not so nice to be around.

That said, it doesn't take a LOT of comforts to make me happy: a house that's warm enough or cool enough, a good warm shower now and then, a dark quiet place where I can lie down to sleep, adequate healthful food....

7. This is more an "I wish I could be too old for this" - self-criticism. Whether it's being harsh with myself when I can't make my fingers do what I think they should on the piano keys, or berating myself for not pushing myself to do more research, or feeling bad because I wasn't more assertive in some kind of interaction. I am who I am and I wish I were better at accepting that: I will never be a concert pianist but I can play much better now than I once did. I need time off, everyone does, and I get enough research done. And some people, it's just their lot in life not to be able to push themselves forward. I just haven't learned how not to be self-critical yet.

8.  Being in the middle of an argument where I have no interest in the outcome. Whether it's two colleagues wanting me to adjudicate a spat (WHY? Can't you go to HR for that if it's serious enough?), or, as happened once, a student showing up with Mom and Grandma in tow for advisement, and Mom and Grandma got into an argument over how many credit hours the student "should" take (Mom thought she needed to take fewer "or else she'll never come home on weekends," Grandma thought more was better because "She can handle it!")

9. Noise. Enough said about that. I like quiet, and I like being able to decide what I listen to.

10. Running to the phone when I'm not expecting a call. I wish I could find some kind of attachment that would pick up the Caller ID signal so I could, for example, set it next to me while I was in the living room reading, and I could decide when the phone rang whether to get up for the call or not....as it is, the phone is in the hall (which runs midway through the house) so pretty much wherever I am, I have to go and look to see who is calling. Most of the time it's a call I'm not gonna take. ("Withheld," or some spoofed 918 or 405 number, or lately, FIREFIGHTER SVCS).

That said, I LOVE having caller ID and I hope eventually it causes some kind of natural-selection in calls so I get fewer of the ones I won't pick up.