Lights out, waiting.

I came back (probably not a good idea) after lunch, planning to do a bit of soil invertebrate counting. But that darn headache hasn't gone yet. I don't know if it's that I'm at a suboptimal distance from the monitor (the joys of needing progressive lenses) and am getting eyestrain, or if it's that some fornicating plant is fornicating (I think it COULD be that, I've also been sneezing a lot more than normal), or what it is.

It is alleged we might get thunderstorms tonight but I am very doubtful about that. 

I tried drinking a cup of pretty strong tea ("Lifeboat Tea," which is a British brand that gives some of its proceeds to the RNLS, and also will make tea, as they say, "strong enough to trot a mouse on"). I even took a couple of ibuprofen. I've been trying to avoid them for "minor" pain ever since the word came out that they can apparently stop your heart or something equally undesirable. (I know, it's a rare side effect, but I admit now, when I get a headache and reach for the bottle, I think, "Is getting rid of this headache maybe worth dying over?")

So I'm sitting here in the dark (no overhead lights sometimes makes the headache go faster) and hoping things will lift enough for me to do at least a little research. (Piano is this afternoon so I have to get home at some point to practice. And no, practicing with a headache is out.)

I also had a bit of an epiphany earlier today. A textbook publisher (not the one I've been griping about) sent me an e-mail from an "I am not a textbook representative" (in other words: I'm not gonna try to sell you something, trust me....) who wanted to "talk" with me some time in the coming week about my teaching style and the materials I used. And they wanted to set it up as a conference call*

And they wanted to do it next week.

(*I consider those only slightly less awful than webinars)

I ignored the first message - I was busy dealing with students and other stuff. So they e-mailed me AGAIN.

And I looked at it. Had it been the publisher I was cursing earlier today, I'd have said, "Sure" and proceeded to try to dominate the conversation with how illogically their website is set up and what an annoyance it is for faculty to try to use it. But it wasn't them......it was someone I currently use 0 textbooks by.

So I thought: I have three possible responses:

1. Say yes, resent it, give them free information.
2. Say no, I'm too busy
3. Figure out what my hourly rate would be were I doing ecological consulting, and then tell them that they can talk to me IF they pay the going rate.

I lack the chutzpah to go with 3. And I was annoyed enough at the time that I didn't want to do 1. So I e-mailed them back and said: this week is terrible, next week will be bad, I don't have time.


And they e-mailed me back: "Okay, we understand."


Holy cow.

Or, as a friend of mine from ITFF would say: "(expletive deleted) Ask Culture."

My thought: Why not say it as "We have the OPPORTUNITY for faculty input" and not word it as "We EXPECT you to do this" which is how it was worded.

Yeah. I'm so inured to my own Guess Culture style that when someone asks me something, even something that seems to overstep the bounds of politeness, I think, "Well, they're asking, so they must think I should be expected to do it" and then I get annoyed at them for expecting it - and then I get angry with myself for being so selfish with my time. Because they're *asking,* therefore it must be a reasonable request? Because no one asks for stuff as a scattershot thing and only expects 10% response.

(I would never survive in Marketing or Sales.)

I'm also so used to being badgered and browbeat about saying no (I have a few people around me who are like that) that I'm actually surprised when I say "no" and the other person is like "No problem."

I need to say "No" to more stuff. But the whole mindset of "We're going to ask very busy people to give their valuable time away to us for free and then we can make money off of it" annoys me a lot.  I don't give 45 minutes of "consulting," especially as part of a conference call, for a virtual hearty handshake and the warm feeling I've helped with the future of textbooks or whatever.

I'll give 45 minutes or more away to a student (well, there are some qualifications: if they want me to re-teach a class because they ignored me and dinked around on their bobdarn cell phone all class, no) for free, because that's my gig and I enjoy helping students. I'll give time to review a journal article and try to help the author make it better, because it helps the author and counts as service to the profession. I'll even help serve chicken spaghetti to people at the soup kitchen, because that helps someone.  But a giant faceless corporation that I slightly suspect is ripping our students off with textbook and e-textbook and "bundles" and all that other stuff? No, heck no.