"A little list"

In "The Mikado," the Lord High Executioner has a song he sings, about a "little list" he keeps of people (or things) that "would never be missed" and proposes they be used as a "victim" when one is needed.

Well, I do not like the idea of putting people on my own personal little list (because: don't like violence against people), but I am happy to put THINGS on it and oh, my friends, today I have a THING for my list:

Video e-mails.

This is apparently a thing now. You get an e-mail from someone, all it is is a short you tube type video. To get the content you have to watch it, though generally there's a somewhat descriptive title.

My campus does these now. They drive me mad. Because they seem the height of inefficiency to me: spend maybe a half hour videoing something. Then spend some time (maybe) editing it. Then expect people to each spend five minutes watching the video. All of this when a conventional e-mail could have been written in perhaps two minutes, and people could read it in thirty seconds or less.

So far, all of the video e-mails have pertained to this new Fitness Initiative, where apparently they are going to annoy us into: (a) exercising, (b) going on a diet, or (c) disordered eating.

(Seriously: we have gotten videos where places have been declared donut-free zones, now apparently the football team has declared a pizza-free zone (??????*). And today it was a video titled "Just Say No to All you can Eat Buffets."

Can we not? Can we PLEASE not? I had some times in college, as an undergrad, when I was living alone and was immature and was worried about being "fat" (and I was slimmer then than I was now) and I did things like trying to eat no more than 1000 calories a day and keeping a record of all of the food I ate. I did that for maybe a month. And when it comes to the point where you're hungry and are looking at a hardboiled egg and wondering if you can "afford" the calories, something has gone wrong with your thinker.....fortunately I was wise enough and strong enough to say "forget that noise" and go back to concerning myself more with "am I getting enough nutrients in the right combinations, and enough protein, for good health?" rather than "CAN I MAKE MYSELF A SIZE 6 IF I EXERCISE ENOUGH FORCE OF WILL"

So I have some serious issues with the food-shaming aspect of the campaign, but I'm guessing it will keep going until someone with a nutritionist's or counselor's degree really puts their oar in and points out telling people to "ban" increasing numbers of foods is a dumb idea....


(*prepared properly, and eaten in moderation, pizza is healthful food. It has vegetables - at a minimum, tomatoes, and you can also load it up with all kinds of other stuff. You don't have to put a ton of cheese on it. And the way I make it at home, it's not high in salt or fat.)


But I really, really loathe getting 2 or 3 video e-mails a day and being expected to watch them. (I don't. I have work to do. I already know what I need to do to eat healthfully and I already exercise. I just want to be left the (insert your favorite intensifier here) alone.)

JUST SAY NO TO VIDEO E-MAILS.

I have a similar strong dislike bordering on hate of news sites that put up a news story, but only have it as a video you must sit and watch, rather than a summary that you could read. Part of it is that I feel like they're doing it so they can advertise at me, part of it is that it feels awfully like an "Idiocracy" future where many people can't read any more....



And I admit: yes, I have issues with the whole food-shaming, fat-shaming thing. But also, I am still enough of a rule-follower, I still have enough fear I have a "permanent record" somewhere that I will get in trouble for, and that maybe if I delete these e-mails unread unwatched, I will miss something essential and will be in big trouble and will fail in the round of Post Tenure Review....I admit I have an irrational fear that there's going to be some tiny, secret rule I totally mess up and then it destroys my whole life.

I think it's because there are two big issues that drive me bonkers here:

1. Feeling like people are pointing a finger at me and going, "FATTY FATTY FATTY FAT FAT YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT FATTY" which is just a stupid retread of the teasing I got (for other things) as a kid in school

2. The implication that I'm not smart enough to make "good life choices." (In the interest of science, I watched the most recent video. It was literally a photograph of a buffet followed by the words JUST SAY NO. I....I just can't. There needs to be more freaking nuance. Aren't salad bars a type of buffet? And what about one with boiled shrimp or salmon or similar healthful choices on it? I get "don't overeat" but it's been YEARS since I ate to the point of discomfort and I know how to handle myself at a buffet.)