"Do Princesses Dream....."

Okay, I wrote this Saturday morning right after watching the episode but am setting it to post a couple days later in the hopes of avoiding spoilering anyone who watches the show, but who does streams/iTunes/whatever way of watching it.

But, whoa. This one delivered a heavy emotional message. More so than last week's; I think it was because I was expecting the message last week ("Twilight thinks she was a bad friend to her friends, and one pony especially suffered from her supposed rejection"). This week, I wasn't. I had only heard the title (A play on the famous "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep" novel title) and vaguely knew it was about Luna and dreams.

And I admit, I wasn't prepared to like the episode when it started: so a dream happens (turns out, not clear to whom) where Luna re-transforms into Nightmare Moon, and the Mane Six show up, and they Rainbowfy (and I went, ho-hum, we're bringing THAT trope back now?) and they "restore" her.....but some bit of sparkly goo leaves her and flies out a window.

It turns out that's the Big Bad of the episode, but how it came to be is different that what I was assuming. (I was thinking, for at least the first half, "Oh, this is going to be like the comic arc where some kind of Dark Magic from the moon transformed Rarity into Nightmare Rarity like it did with Luna and Nightmare Moon, and they're going to have to go all Magical Girl and fight it....)

And I admit, the "nightmares" of the Mane Six are definitely children's nightmares: monsters, stuff chasing you. When I have nightmares, the really Big Bad ones (which thankfully are rare) where I have to get up and go sit in another room and turn a light on for a while, it never involves monsters or running from something. It's far more psychological: someone I love very, very much is dying. Or they have chosen out of the blue to reject me. Or I've been involved in something very bad through no fault of my own (hitting a kid with my car when said kid ran out from between two parked cars a fraction of a second before I came there) and even though it's not my "fault," I have to deal with the fallout AND everyone else thinks I am to blame and demonizes me even though there was nothing I could do to prevent it.....) Or the world has become a dystopia and the only choice is to conform to an immoral way of being (sacrificing other people or some such) or allowing myself to be killed....

In the episode, Rarity's dream involves fashion inspiration, and in her nightmare, the dresses become monsters. In Fluttershy's dream, she's Angel's pet and he's brushing her, and then in her nightmare, he turns into a monster rabbit: you get the idea.

Anyway, as I said, I was a little "ho-hum, monster dreams."

Also, Luna can "mind link" to a dreaming pony. Which is actually a little creepy and I'm sure the NSA jokes are coming about it.

And yeah, the Big Bad had to be dealt with. (It's called, apparently, a "Tantabus"? If I heard that right. At first I thought Luna was saying "Tantalus" and I was thinking of either something like this (which tends to feature in some Golden Era mysteries) or the mythological figure from which we get the word "tantalizing" (his punishment was to be starving and thirsting and food and drink always JUST out of reach).

But apparently it's a mash-up of "tantalizing" and either "succubus" or "incubus," the horrible nightmare creatures. Or at least, I assume that's what the writers were going for, they're no slouches at using mythological allusions and creating their own.

Anyway, the issue with Tantabus is that if it spreads, if it infects other ponies' dreams, it can grow and become "real" and eventually invade the waking world (okay, that's getting a little creepy).

So to try to combat it, Twilight suggests that ALL the ponies be mind linked in a giant dream. On the one hand, this furthers the story (maybe they can together have the power to defeat the Tantabus), on the other, it gives the writers a chance to goof a little bit (Giant Derpy! Princess Big Mac! (and on that last, you can't totally convince me "the writers insulate themselves 100% from fan-made stuff to avoid tainting the show" because I've seen too many things that seem drawn from the fandom)

(Oh, and Scootaloo being able to fly in her dream: all the feels.)

But then the heavy part comes. Even with ALL the ponies dreaming together and using whatever superhero power they can conjure up (Seriously: Filthy Rich shoots money at the thing), they can't defeat it.

And then, somehow, Luna makes her confession: The Tantabus is her own creation. She made it for herself.

Because she felt the need to have the same nightmare every night.

To punish herself. For having been Nightmare Moon. And to remind herself never to do that again. (And I said, sitting alone in my living room: "Oh, Luna. Luna, no." and felt very sad).

Yeah. Luna couldn't forgive herself for what she did what, four years ago now, and for which every other pony has forgiven her (and for some, she is their favorite princess ever)

And okay. That was kind of straight in the feelings for me. Partly because I was NOT expecting that turn (and that's really, really heavy for what is ostensibly a kids' show) but also partly because, yeah, I can feel it. The stuff that comes and torments me in the middle of the night when I can't sleep is often every weird or awkward or inadvertently-hurtful thing I said to someone, or the times when I brushed someone off because of my own stuff and they really could have used my help and my listening to them.....and while I've never really done anything Big Bad the way some people have (I can't even say I've ever stolen another woman's guy, or that kind of petty-league bad stuff like that), still, I do remember those things.....and I do find it harder to forgive myself than I find it to forgive others. ("You should have known better. You should be better than that"). And I have a hard time for a few days during my waking hours letting go of stuff if I say something untoward to someone, either because I'm misreading the tone of the situation and make an ill-advised joke, or if I lash out a little because of my own hurts. (Though I guess you could say Nightmare Moon was Luna lashing out because of her own hurts, just writ large.)

(Also, I'll note that as much a stunningly-good memory is a blessing - it's what allowed me to do so well in school, for example - it's also a curse in that I DON'T forget the awkward or inadvertently-hurtful things and can remember stuff even from 30+ years ago....)

And, well....they convince Luna to "let it go" and to forgive herself (I don't remember this part of the episode as clearly because I was so bowled over by the "Luna still can't forgive herself part" and how emotionally complex this show is sometimes). And it ends happily: the ponies wake from their dream knowing Tantabus has been vanquished.

And there is Luna, fast asleep. Somepony (Applejack, maybe?) says she wonders what Luna is dreaming about. And we see it: a very peaceful location, with giant glowing fuchsia-like flowers, and giant glowing mushrooms, and she is sleeping on an island in the moonlight.

(And, oh, poor Luna.....was she having nightmares and bad sleep EVERY NIGHT since her restoration from Nightmare Moon? No wonder she seemed sort of grumpy in some of the episodes)

It's remarkable to me that a kids' show - a show aimed at little girls, really, and that was designed to sell pastel plastic ponies - carries this level of emotional freight.

And it occurs to me, a lot of the recent episodes (and perhaps, if you went back and looked, a lot of the episodes, period) are about forgiveness: last week's was about going back and asking forgiveness from someone you felt you had wronged; this week's is about forgiving yourself. (And personally: I find the forgiving one's self harder than forgiving someone else, or even asking their forgiveness).  And I suppose you could stretch to say the yak episode was about forgiving others who were different from you.....and I'm sure there have been plenty of "I need to forgive my friend" moments, I just can't immediately think of an episode where that's featured. (Maybe, possibly, "The Last Roundup," where Applejack runs off after the rodeo without telling anypony why.