Hope I'm good

Tomorrow is the day the "big boss" of code compliance or whatever it is comes to look at my yard and decide if I'm off the agenda.

I decided, even though it was hot and even though I had little "free" time this weekend, to go out and mow again. And even do some picky stuff like hand trim (with clippers) around the birdbath and stuff.

My lawn qua lawn looks really good, but there is a big bare patch at the back of the yard where the brush pile was. And catkins still on the roof. And and and. The rational part of my brain is telling me, "A reasonable person could not find fault with the state of your lawn; it's not perfect but it's far better than it was and it's better than many in this town." And "The neighbor to your south has actually had citizen complaints [though about things that aren't in the laws] AND their front lawn is really tall." And "The person told you she had tons of people going on the agenda, she will be looking for people who can be removed in order to shorten the meeting." And "They can't legally put you on the agenda for something you didn't know about; you dealt with the two things they listed and it would be unfair and possibly illegal for them to get you for something you didn't know and weren't given time to abate."

(How I hate that word: "abatement.")

But the irrational part of my brain is going "They are looking for something else to ding you on, they will find something." and "You probably have violated some rule you don't know about and that will trip you up." (That's the biggest thing. I feel, at my most paranoid about this, like I've fallen into some malevolent fairy-tale world where things that make sense to me are actually violations of some super-secret rule, and I'm going to hear "OFF WITH HER HEAD!" at some point and not even really know WHY.)

And yeah, having to go before the board and either pinkie-promise that I will find someone to blow the catkins off my roof (or whatever new violation I seem to have) or fall down weeping on the floor and beg forgiveness or argue that no, the fennel they are calling a "tall weedy grass*" is in fact a desirable garden plant that feeds pollinators and can theoretically feed humans is, in the grand scheme of things, a bee sting and not an amputated limb, but it feels far worse to me than it really is, probably because (a) I've never really broken any big rules and (b) I thought being 'transgressive' was supposed to be way more fun than this.

(*I'm fearful of this because I still can't figure out where the "grass taller than 12"" was in my yard the last time. I had some that was approaching 6 or 7 inches, and unless they were just giving me a kind warning - in which case they should have been more clear - I find myself wondering if one of my less-familiar garden plants, to whit, the fennel, was interpreted as "tall grass" by whoever checked it out. Even though the fennel was obviously in ONE patch of a garden, and it's pretty darn clearly Not A Grass.)

The other frustrating thing is I have no idea if my "offness" of the agenda is going to be communicated to me. The person I spoke to last week said I was "probably good" if I did what I said I did. My dad counseled me that, unless I received a request to appear I treat it as being off the agenda, but the rule-following part of me says, "It would be so much worse NOT to show up and to be on the agenda than it would be to go down there and check."

The thing is....this is another bite from the day and presumably another human interaction I really don't want to have. What I'd *like* would be a phone call or note on my door saying, "You're good, you're off the agenda" but I have no way of knowing if I will get that.

(And I wonder: what about people with bad work schedules and really horrific bosses who might face the undesirable choice of angering The Powers That Be In The City or losing their jobs.)