* My chair tells me there's no real shame in having to hand a travel grant back, especially if it's beyond the PIs control that the travel didn't get completed. I still feel bad about it, though.
* I swear I have more people either winding up with conflicts or outright flaking out on me than anyone else I know. Or maybe I'm more bothered by it, I don't know.
* Both my departmental scholarships and the AAUW scholarships have been decided, so that bit of committeework is done for me for another year, thank goodness.
* AAUW dinner tonight. At the restaurant that I got food intolerance from the last time I ate there. I don't know what it was, some spice maybe. Tonight I'm getting a salad and leaving it at that. I had mentioned the problem to the person doing the choosing, but obviously she forgot or was overridden. Oh well.
* This morning, Nickelodeon (and I presume the other Viacom channels) had gone dark already. No sign of the "fantastic new channels" we are to get. I don't expect it any time soon. I think they'll probably wait until the "all digital" changeover which is somewhere now in the unicorny future. (As in: it might or might not exist)
* I'm just feeling really burnt out. I'm tired, I'm unmotivated, I'm mildly panicked that I have no new research project ideas in mind but trying to think of stuff just makes me think about all the time a project would take, and all the logistics, and my brain just shuts down.
* I need someone to take care of me a little bit, I think. Someone to see that the laundry is done and that I'm not running out of milk and to pack me my lunch for the mornings. I suspect the reason some people are so much more productive than others is that they have spouses who don't work so long outside the house (if they do at all) and those spouses take care of them. Yes, I'm saying I'd like to go back and somehow be a stereotypical 1950s husband. But really: work is a full-time job, taking care of the house, laundry, cooking, and marketing is a full-time job, and during the warm months here, taking care of the yard is a full-time job. That's three full-time jobs. And that's terrible. I probably need to break down and hire a lawn service, I don't know.
* Apparently I missed my 15th anniversary of teaching. Got a call from one of the offices, they need to deliver my pin and certificate. (The "faculty appreciation" dinner was Monday, but I didn't sign up to go: first, there was probably nothing I would want to eat (I only break my sodium restriction for really, really good food, and this meal is catered by the cafeteria) and also I was totally involved with grading and knew I didn't want to take time from that.
* Yeah, it was just delivered. Fifteen years. The certificate says "15 Years of Meritorious Service." and the pin has a little yellow stone on it. (I guess you get a blue stone for 20 years. If I make it that long). I don't know. I find it harder and harder to get excited about these kinds of things. I mean, I suppose staying employed for fifteen years is a big deal on some level, but right now, as I said, I'm just kind of tired and bummed and it's hard for me to look at it with anything much other than a slightly jaundiced eye.
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