Safely at home

Ice was forming on my windshield as I drove home from campus around 1:30 this afternoon. (rain, freezing on contact. Once the heater got warm enough it stopped forming).

I got the extra grading done. I didn't bring anything with me even though I had a few Biostats homeworks and a few project papers that got turned in early. Because I'm done with grading for a little while; it was a struggle to do the lab papers.

Right now I'm trying to do the Sunday school lesson. It's over the Magnificat and while I know a few things to say I'm having a hard time feeling it. Partly because I'm in one of those periodic bottoms-of-the-parabola where I look around and go, "What have I ever really done that makes much of a difference; how has God ever really used me?" I know it's because I'm tired and I'm still not 100% over what was probably the mild case of Shigella I had a couple weeks ago (I'm sure the bacteria are gone from my system but the medical info I've seen warn that it can take up to a month to recover fully).

I got a holiday card from Mercy Corps (I give a small monthly donation) with the quotation from Aesop about how no act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted. Again, I fail to "feel" it. Partly, I think, because I've dealt with enough "takers" that made me feel like the kind things I did were their due.

I probably need an evening knitting and a good night's sleep but I need to finish this lesson, and my piano practice, and make up and freeze the meatballs, and clean my house, and and and. It's like work multiplies and no matter how bummed out and tired I am, there's always something. (Adulthood is a trap, kids.)

I want to do that all tonight because what if the power is out tomorrow? I suppose that would be an excuse but I feel like if I COULD have done the things now, and didn't, I don't really have the right to use that as an excuse.