Almost Thanksgiving

As I said once before - this is one of those "breaks" that sneaks up on me. I have class tomorrow, class Monday, then Monday night I catch a train to go visit my parents. (It will be just them and me this holiday - unless one of their friends isn't doing anything and they wind up inviting her also, I could see that happening. But my brother and sister-in-law and niece are coming for Christmas)

If I'm going to decorate for Christmas, I guess this is the weekend to do it; when I come back it will be full-tilt boogie until after exam week, and then I go visit my family again a couple days after that.

I'm a bit apprehensive - we're supposed to get big weather changes today and it's supposed to turn very cold and maybe be "bad" weather (sleet and ice). I can never tell how much of the warnings are:

1. "most" people don't pay good attention, and need to be shocked into being careful
2. It's hard to predict a couple days out, so they're erring on the side of scary
3. Weather forecasters really seem to salivate over this kind of weather. (Hail, too.)

I will be very unhappy if we get bad weather Monday and it's not safe for me to drive to Mineola, and I have to do a last-minute cancellation of my trip. In fact, I will probably pull the shades and stay at home and pout if that happens, so no one feels compelled to offer me a "pity" invitation to their Thanksgiving. (I just....I don't like feeling I'm crashing someone else's family holiday. It's one thing if it's a group of several unrelated people, but if it's just me and then someone's family....no)

Other than that, I haven't planned much for the trip. I guess I will need to pack this weekend, and also plan what projects/books to carry along. (This IS a short trip - just a couple days - so I won't need much).


***

I need a break. I've witnessed a few student meltdowns this week. Stuff has gone wrong. And one elder has asked to resign, because of poor health. (We are now down to five. I'm going to suggest that either we get a couple more people involved, or we drop down to having just one at the table rather than two every week.)

I don't know. I guess I'm beginning to accept the idea that this congregation might not survive much longer; we just don't have enough people. Giving per person is good, but considering the size of our building, and its age, and all....well, I don't know. If we fold, I don't know what I'll do. I suppose I'll ask some of my friends where they plan on going, and try visiting that church. (I think the next nearest church of our denomination is a half-hour away, and I just can't be up for driving an hour's round-trip every Sunday. I know some people do it but I can't.) There's an Episcopal congregation nearby and while the rector seems to be well-thought-of, I don't know....then again, I tend to be fairly "high church" for a Disciple, so I might fit in okay.

 I just hope it doesn't come to that. We've had a few visitors lately but none of them have joined. I've tried inviting people but literally (literally-literally, not literally-figuratively) everyone I know either (a) already belongs to the church, (b) is active in another church or (c) is outright hostile to the idea of church and religion.

I suppose part of this is being tired (and hurting: my bursitis is bothering me and I had a bad outbreak of hives yesterday, and I still itch) but I hate it when I agree to a responsibility and then it feels like everything starts falling apart after I take it on.

I just....this makes me so sad. This was the first place I went when I moved down here where I felt kind of "normal," like I fit in. 

I wonder what happens to the building and such, if we fold. Does it revert to the regional church, and then they have to decide to sell it or what? (It would figuratively kill me to see the church deconsecrated and, I don't know, turned into a coffee house or something.  Or worse, torn down. It would be a very long time before I could drive past it without crying, I think)

I know, I know: sometimes you do your best, you work your hardest, and it's just not enough to save something that's important to you. That's another way that this world isn't just. Effort doesn't always pay off...