Thursday morning random

*One of the things I looked for at the store (and experienced some frustration in trying to find, as the local wal-mart seldom puts things in "logical" places) were rice cakes. Because I've eaten them in the past, liked them (Yeah, I know, lots of people don't, but I happen to) and I was wondering what their nutritional profile was.

Pretty good, actually, so once I found them I bought a couple of sleeves and will use those as one of my "crunchy food replacements." Also bought a big bag of unsalted almonds because that's something else I like. (they're the one kind of nut I prefer in its unsalted form).

I'm probably doing way more than I have to but this is a case of "how you do anything is how you do everything" - it's not unlike me turning myself inside out to try to get someone to like me. (I'm turning myself inside out to try to get my body to like me again). Also that I tend to be a "fixer" - I want to do stuff to solve problems, I'm not good at shrugging and going either "it's an insoluble problem" or "it will resolve itself in time."

Maybe just a few tweaks to my diet will help. (I will say a lot of the "usual" stuff most people eat tastes way too salty to me - even most "store" bread does). And maybe if those tweaks make me lose a little weight, that will help the other problems. I will say that the medication seems to depress my appetite, so it's a case of me standing in front of the fridge going, do I want a salad or an apple for dinner? rather than "I will have a salad and an apple and a piece of bread for dinner." If that continues, I should probably bring it up with the doctor; it's not healthy not to want to eat.

It may have been that I was due for a dose of medication when I wrote that thing last night. This morning I noticed that (even with exercising) my heart rate felt all wonky until about 20 minutes after taking the medication, and then it felt okay again. So, I don't know. Maybe I'll ultimately need a higher dose, I don't know. This is all new territory for me, I've only observed other people deal with this and in my dad's case, he had other stuff going on at the same time so it was a multiple-medication attack. (I do not, based on the doctor's quick exam, appear to have any of those other problems).

(Actually, now I think of it: the wonky heart rate may be that I woke up from having a bad dream. I know those affect my heart rate and stuff)

I think I'm going to switch to measuring my blood pressure at night, just before bed. Because I'll have had a dose of the medication, so it should be working, and I won't be thinking in the back of my head, "Gotta get this over with so I can jump on the cross-country ski exerciser." The doctor did suggest "measure it a few times a week" so I'm probably going overboard on that too.

I also experimentally skipped the Claritin today. I'm going to monitor both hives, and see if my bp is lower tonight. If it is, and I don't hive up, I'm going to delete the Claritin from my regimen. (Even though the doctor was pretty emphatic that she didn't think it would affect my blood pressure. The campus nurse did say "some" antihistamines will)

Gah. This is tiresome to ME, so I know it is to you. I will try not to talk about it in the future.

*It's also possible some of this is tied to the fact that my doctor warned me that "when you first start on beta blockers, often you feel like crap." though I interpreted "like crap" as more to be tired, possibly dizzy on standing....though maybe my body is interpreting slightly lowered bp as OH NOES THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME and is freaking out. I don't know. (I probably should have asked her for a clarification on "like crap" but I was still trying to adjust to everything at that moment. Well, when I see her again after the bloodwork, I can ask about that, and if it's still OK to drink caffeinated tea, and just how strictly I have to limit sodium)

*I don't know if my research student is coming in. I know he's busy but I really need him to be more communicative. I'm ready to do fieldwork if he wants to. If he's not here by 2:30 or so I think I'm just going home. (I hope he didn't just drop....and he still has a couple of my identification books.) I'd like to get this done soon as we are going to get cold weather soon and the plants will stop flowering.

*I want to get back to working on something craft-related. I got home yesterday evening and pretty much just sat - didn't have the motivation to work on anything. That's a bad sign for me, that either I'm really distressed or unwell.

It's possible starting a new project - maybe some fingerless mitts - might help. I don't know. Or winding off a bunch of yarn, sometimes that helps when I'm kind of "stuck" when it comes to knitting.

* Maybe it's time for another Penzey's order too. I was thinking about making pasta last night and wanted to see if I had any of their "pasta sprinkle" (an herb blend they sell) to put on it - but I didn't. (Sometimes I like just plain pasta, without sauce, just a little butter and some kind of seasoning. I use the Omega-3 pastas - I started using them after I tried them up at my parents and found that they're quite pleasant - less starchy than standard pasta, but not with that "sandpaper" texture the full-on whole grain ones have. This kind has added chickpea flour and stuff too, so they have more protein and a little more body to them, and I think they have a nicer flavor than regular pasta.)

*Was really disappointed in the apples I bought yesterday. I got Jonagold, which is usually a variety I like, but I found the one I tried for dinner kind of...almost woody. I guess I'll have to cook up the rest somehow, either make applesauce or do sweet potatoes and apple casserole. I guess I'll try the Honeycrisps again.I got a not-so-great Honeycrisp last year that made me wonder at why people rave so over them.

I tend to be picky about apples; I don't like the Gala or Fuji or other common varieties because it seems to me that they're more bred for keeping qualities than for flavor. Macintosh is actually my favorite (because, I think, it was what we most commonly had when I was a kid), but they're really hard to find in stores if you don't live near an apple-growing area, because they don't store well or even transport all that well.

I like apples that are slightly tart rather than the sweeter varieties, which may also be why I dislike some of the common 'store' varieties. Maybe Granny Smith would be worth a try? (Heh. Macintosh and Granny Smith.)

I'd happily accept less visually-perfect apples that tasted better, but it seems a lot of the supermarket ones are bred for pretty looks, not good taste. (There's probably a commentary on our larger society there....)

It does frustrate me a little bit living in a region now where there's less local farming and much less orcharding. I was really spoiled in Illinois; there were a couple apple orchards near me, and a u-pick strawberry place, and there were farmstands around a lot with corn and tomatoes and stuff. We have a "farmer's" market but I have a strong suspicion a lot of the stuff is trucked in from far away.