This is going to be kind of long and rambly. I will put the most difficult stuff at the end, I think.

****

I did make the Senate Bean Soup this weekend. (I also made bread, but used the bread machine. I've been having some elbow issues - overuse, I think, coupled with the high pressure we've had - so I thought kneading might be unwise. The elbow is better this morning; I think all of the mouse-and-click needed for revising a paper on Friday was what stressed it).

The soup was good, but perhaps a bit bland compared to what I'm used to.

Here's the recipe, I will note possible modifications at the end.

Senate Bean Soup ("for 2*")

(*Despite all the hysteria about PORTION SIZES HAVE GOTTEN TOO BIG AND THAT IS WHY PEOPLE ARE TEH FATZ, I find when I cook from older cookbooks (this one is from 1959) a lot of the "serves howevermany" suggestion actually seems like pretty huge portion sizes. I'd say this could serve four pretty easily).

1/2 lb small white navy beans
1/2 lb. ham hocks (or, in my case, 1 t "ham soup base")
1 small onion, chopped finely
1 quart water.

Rinse the beans well, discard any "bad" beans or stones. Put the beans and water and either hamhocks or soup base together in a saucepan, put on the burner. In the meantime, saute the onion in a little olive oil. When the onion is cooked, add it to the beans.

Bring to a boil. Turn the heat down and simmer until the beans are done (done = can be mashed with a fork). In my case this was about 2 hours but I think I had new-crop beans; older beans will take longer. If you used hamhocks, pick the meat off and add to the soup.

Add pepper and salt (if needed) at table.

Like I said, this was a little bland. I've seen other recipes calling for adding chopped celery (I have a food intolerance to celery, so I wouldn't use it, but you could) and instant mashed potatoes (for texture).

I think, though, next time I make something like this, I'll make a couple changes.

First, I'd use some kind of more flavorful bean. Navy beans may be traditional but they are kind of bland. Pintos might be better, or black turtle beans. (Call it maybe, "Senate with Diversity Bean Soup"? Seeing as Pinto beans are more typically used in Hispanic/Southwestern cooking, and black turtle beans in Caribbean cooking?). I do suspect pintos or turtle beans would necessitate longer cooking, or perhaps a pre-treatment of the "quick soak method" (where you boil the beans a couple minutes, then soak an hour before cooking)

I also think adding a can of those "petite diced tomatoes" (with the juice substituting for some of the water) would be better too. And maybe some fresh parsley added at the very end. And maybe adding a can (or part of a can) of corn.

One thing I like about soup is that you can play around with the recipes. Another thing I like is that you can stick a bunch of vegetables in there - and vegetables I might either never eat together, or might not even be that inclined to eat on their own (rutabagas), I will eat in a soup.

****

I've been looking at another recent-purchase book: Nancy Bush's Knitted Lace in Estonia. (Nancy Bush is a genius. But I think most knitters know that.)

She talked a little bit about the different cultures where lace shows up - the Shetlands, of course, and also parts of Russia and countries like Estonia. And it makes one wonder: What is the phylogeny of knitted lace? (or at least, it makes ME wonder).

Did it develop in one culture, and then spread via trade? Did sailors bring back these new unusual knitted items for their mothers or sweethearts, and those mothers and sweethearts look at them and think, "Why didn't I come up with that?" and then try copying it - or try coming up with their own way of doing it?

Or did it have what we would call in evolutionary biology a polyphyletic origin, where it arose independently in several different cultures?

One thing I've noticed is that some of the Scandinavian colorwork patterns (the eight pointed star, for example) resemble some of the traditional Islamic designs. Brought in by traders from the east? Brought back by returning Crusaders? (Did the Scandinavians even participate in the Crusades?)

I don't know. But it's something that intrigues me - where did all this knowledge come from? How did things we think of now as "traditional" first develop? In a pre-Internet, pre-jumbo-jet era, (even a pre-printing-press era), how did ideas move from place to place?

I think you could say that about almost any type of craftwork - lace, turning the heel on a sock, crochet, quilting, metalwork, carved designs...

****

Now the more difficult topic.

I do not know what to do about the Youth Group. Have I run my course as its leader? How will I find a replacement, if I'm not doing a sufficiently good job?

I had two kids last night. Two boys, friends, who giggled through the lesson. I stopped several times, my co-leader spoke to them. I was THIS close to getting up and saying, "I'm sorry, but if you're not interested, I can't keep teaching" and walking away.

(After group, I went home, washed my hair, played piano for 1/2 hour, read, watched some tv...and still had a hard time sleeping because it was weighing on my mind).

I interact OK with younger teenagers, I guess - or pre teens. When this current group was younger, they could be pretty adorable at times - they answered questions, they asked good questions, sometimes they said funny stuff, they interacted.

Now that some of them are older, I have certain issues:

Texting. Good God, I hate whoever invented the text message. It gives people such an easy, such a tempting way to "check out" of a group. Even a "no texting" rule, even a "phones off" rule, I'm still having to harp on people every single week.

It wears me down.

I'm also fed up with the random giggling. Did I say something funny? Is there some word I'm using for its "straight" meaning that now has a sexual meaning to teenagers? (I tend to immediately assume that the kind of barely-suppressed giggling is "She said .... uh huh, huh, huh")

I don't know. I presented the ideas of what we could do this fall (find a curriculum, do an "issues based" study where we come up with a list of issues and discuss them, do a "historical" study (what was life like in Biblical times?), do an in-depth study of a book or books of the Bible, have more interactive stuff). I'm TRYING to make this interesting for them. I'm trying.

And I realize, yeah, it's not about me. But there comes a point where you just get so worn down by the horsepucky that you want to quit.

The biggest issue I think I deal with is people not wanting to participate. In anything. When they were younger, we could do anything - go out and play kickball, play charades, sit around and talk - and everyone wanted to be a part of it. But now - people wander off to do their own thing. And what's the part of HAVING a group if they are scattered among different rooms doing different stuff?

The biggest thing that got me last night was this: some of the late 20s-30s members of the church have formed a small "praise band." They meet on Sunday nights to play together (the aim, as they point out, is NOT to take the place of hymns in Sunday services, but to have some fun on Sunday evenings). They were playing last night and suggested that we all come and take part.

One kid would NOT go. He didn't want to. He just didn't want to. Even though everyone else was in there. Even though, I felt like it was sort of impolite of him to balk so much. Even though I've pointed out that there are more people here on Sunday evenings now, and we have to learn to share our time. But no, nothing worked.

I doubt the band noticed and had their feelings hurt by his absence, but I admit mine were a bit.

I don't know. I'm not good at dealing with teenagers in the "separation" or "rebellion" phase. I was NEVER rebellious (like you would never have guessed that, eh?). I didn't go through very much of the pouting or the refusals or whatever.

I think part of it was I felt like I was SO unpopular with the other kids, and that the adults still seemed to like me, so I figured I'd throw my lot in with the adults, rather than try to fit in with the kids and have the adults mad at me and the kids still continuing to ridicule me (as they would have, I know, if I had tried to "fit in" more).

So I don't quite know what to do. And I wind up beating myself up for not being "more interesting" or "more relevant" or whatever the heck it is that teenaged kids want.

If there were someone who could do this better than I am doing, I'd give it over to them in a heartbeat. But there's no one willing to take over. It's my job for life. (One of the dirty little secrets about volunteering).

So I don't know. Maybe this week was just a bad week. Having only two people - both of whom are close friends, and so, have a "history" outside of the group and in-jokes and all of that contributed. But it's just a frustrating thing.

Maybe I just need to be patient for some of the Adored Little Kids to mature a few years...though by then I bet one of their parents takes over the youth group...and does it totally different and "so much better" than what I did.

I don't know.