Thanks for the advice.

I think part of the issue Sunday night was that those two boys are good friends - they have a history of getting in trouble together (I think they have to be put in separate classes at school), and it was just a messy critical-mass sort of thing.

My co-leader and I tried to force the one kid to go to hear the band but finally gave up, realizing that we could have continued to argue with him the whole time they were playing. His grandmother - with whom he lives - is aware of the issue and will deal with it. (I trust she will. She has before).

It's probably also back-to-school craziness; they have been in school just over a week and I suppose things are still settling down.

The other thing is, I have to remember not to take stuff personally. Typically, when teens are being thoughtless, they are LITERALLY being thoughtless - that is, they are NOT THINKING of the other person.

(And I have verified that, when we've had discussions about thoughtless behavior before. Eventually they will learn).

The problem is, sometimes I interpret "thoughtless" behavior as "intentionally" thoughtless, rather than "literally" thoughtless - as in "this person knows what pushes my buttons and they're doing that thing specifically because they know it bugs me."

And I don't think it's that. I did enough stupid literally-thoughtless stuff as a teenager - even as a very obedient, generally-pretty-compassionate teenager, I did stuff that now makes me want to dope-slap myself and go "Why? Why did you say that thing to that person?" or "Why did you do that thing? That was idiotic and hurt that person's feelings." But that's what teenagers ARE sometimes, I'm afraid. They don't think.

(Sometimes, college students even don't think. When I've gotten on some of my students for doing something monumentally unsafe in lab, and in my frustration blurted, "What on EARTH were you THINKING when you did that?" at them, they kind of look startled, shrug, and go, "I guess I wasn't thinking." Thank God we haven't blown the building up yet...)

But anyway. Two steps forward, one step back. And I really don't think I could talk anyone else into taking it; when I've made noises about that before people all talk about what a "wonderful" job I'm doing (which is really code for, "Let's flatter her as much as possible because I don't want to take on the job")

As for other volunteers, I've pretty much given up. It's me and my co-leader. We've had others help along the way, but something always "comes up" and they stop coming. It's never that "the kids are awful and I can't stand them" or "I don't feel like I'm doing a good job." It's always, "I'm tired." or "I have work stuff." or "But I get so few evenings off otherwise." What-ever. So I stop asking. Because it's almost worse to have someone act all excited to volunteer and then stop showing up after a month, than it is to know you are pretty much doing it alone.


So anyway. Sometimes I think the only way you know you're doing volunteer work "right" is if you want to quit it periodically.

****

I finished another little thing. This was in the bag with the Airy Cardigan. I had tucked it in there after hitting a dilemma with it.

It was supposed to be the One Drop Scarf - knit and knit and knit in 1 x 1 rib, and then in the last row, drop the seventh stitch and ladder it down.

But as I progressed, I realized I couldn't bring myself to "ruin" the symmetry of the ribbing by dropping that stitch. And then I decided I didn't really NEED another plain, grey-ish scarf - seeing as I already have a nicer one knit of some long-discontinued Noro yarn that has both camel hair and angora in it.

So I tucked it away.

Then, when I found it again, I remembered the "Red Scarf Project" (and the fact that the scarves need not be RED, as long as they are a nice unisex color)

Well, this scarf fits the dimensions (at least 6" wide and at least 60" long) and the color requirement. But, two things may be sticking points:

1. it is exceptionally plain. Just 1 x 1 ribbing. It's not a nice cabled scarf or one with a fancy stitch pattern. Might not someone be disappointed getting this plain of a scarf as a gift?

2. It's a fairly heavy chunky wool, and I know the Project prefers worsted or thinner.

So I don't know. I suppose I could e-mail Norma or whoever-it-is that is the blogger that kind of has this as her personal project, and see if the scarf is even acceptable. (I don't want to sent it in and have them not be able to use it). If not, maybe I can find some group that can use it. (Locally, they don't do things like scarf drives; it rarely gets truly cold enough for that. So I probably will wind up mailing it off somewhere).

Here it is, for what it's worth. (Maybe I should have dropped that stitch. But I just COULDN'T.)