News fast begun.

This is going to be a bit of a challenge in the mornings when I work out, because normally I listen to the radio (I don't own an iPod and I have a limited number of tapes that still work in my Walkman that are enjoyable enough to listen to while working out). Normally I listen to the news, because, well - the music stations here leave MUCH to be desired.

(I never invested in a satellite radio. Now I'm glad I didn't because it looks like XM and Sirius are going to merge, and I'd probably have the "wrong" set-up - the one that goes away - the "betamax" of satellite radio. One of the things I hate about current technology, and that keeps me from buying a lot of the toys, is the obsolescence issue. I don't like to think that I "have" to replace things before they wear out).

What I should do is buy a portable CD player, and get some German lessons on CD, or invest in some of those "Great Courses" things on CD. Because:

"'The best thing for being sad,'replied Merlyn, beginning to puff and blow, 'is to learn something. That is the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then — to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting.'" (T.H. White)

You know, that's true. At least for me. I was cheered (at least temporarily) last night in German class, going over conjugations of regular verbs (and also irregular ones like sein). And learning the indefinite articles "ein/eine" and that you can make that into "not" or "not any" by doing "kein/keine" (we had earlier had the phrases for No Trespassing and such so now the "kein" makes sense) and "mine" by doing "mein/meine".

I do want to find some kind of "German speaker explains it all" book about the grammar and structure of the language. I find - and I realize this is odd and I probably learn languages differently than ANYONE on Earth - that I learn stuff better when I have a structure to plug it into. Like, I will never forget the usage of "kein" and "keine" now that I know they are formed from the indefinite article.

(So in other words: those language learning courses that promise you "No tedious grammar!" would not be for me. I want the "tedium" of grammar. I like that kind of orderliness)

And I'm still intrigued by the idea of a case system and how it works, especially since English really does not have one.

I think when my brain is occupied by learning something, it is less likely to be occupied by worry. Kind of like competitive inhibition of an enzyme.

Learning stuff has always been a "displacement behavior" of mine - if I'm particularly distressed by something going on out in the world or in my life, I'll try to take up a new hobby, or I'll go and check out a bunch of books on some obscure subject I've been wondering about.

I think also, perhaps, on some level, I consider learning to be "neutral" - in the sense that it's unemotional, or the only emotion engendered by it is happiness. (Often when distressed I turn to subjects mathematical.) Again, I think it's an effort to find something controllable in a world that I often see as careening out of control, and to find something comfortingly predictable in a world where people behave in ways I cannot possibly predict.

I realize again that's a bit of a "Rain Man" tendency - to want to retreat into statistics or formulas or things like that when life gets kind of overwhelming. But it seems to be a safer and more effective coping strategy than either merely GETTING overwhelmed, or turning to drinking (as I've seen some do), or lashing out at other people.