This is another one of those meme things. So now you can see how well and truly boring my life has been, and how insanely cautious I have been.

HAVE YOU EVER:

Smoked a cigarette or tried it: Nope. Never really wanted to. Drugs (illicit) had a similar lack-of-appeal.

Crashed a friend's car: No.

Stolen a car: No.

Been dumped: Not in the traditional sense where he squirms around and pulls the "it's not you, it's me" bit or the "I like you like a sister" bit, but I've had promising relationships (well, that looked promising TO ME) end due to no action on my part.

Shoplifted: Again, no. Never had any appeal to me. I guess I was too worried about the potential consequences of getting caught.

Been fired /laid off: Nope. I did quit a job once.

Been in a fist fight: No. I've never really been in a "physical" fight other than the typical childhood sibling stuff. (I hear you over there, humming Adam Ant's "Goody Two Shoes")

Snuck out of your parent's house: Well, I've stormed out, as a teenager, when I was angry, but that's not quite the same as sneaking. (I never went very far; it was more the "I'm so mad I can't talk about anything right now and I'm going for a walk." Heh. I remember one time when I did that I found a five-dollar bill on the ground about halfway to where I was walking.)

Been arrested: No

Gone on a blind date: No, not really.

Lied to a friend: Yes, although they tended more to be the "your haircut looks okay, really" type of lies.

Skipped school: In college. I skipped the Thursday morning chemistry recitation sections after we took Wednesday evening exams in the class - we didn't get our exams back but the TA would go over them and I'd walk out of there feeling like I totally bombed when I wound up with a B or something. And my chem. TA was a prick anyway. (Sorry, but that's the best descriptive word I can come up with for him. He went BEYOND jerkiness. He had that supercilious quality that most people who are simply jerks do not have).

Seen someone die: No, but I have seen a cadaver. More than one, actually. (No, nothing too horrible: I've been at schools where gross anatomy was taught. And one time one of my friends in grad school - who had never seen one - wanted to go and see one, but she needed someone for moral support. Cadavers aren't as creepy and awful as you might imagine, but they do make me a little sad because of the anonymity.)

Been to Canada: Yes.

Been to Mexico: No.

Eaten Sushi: Only the vegetarian kind. I have Adrian Monk issues about raw fish.

Met someone in person from the internet: Yes, Diann.

Taken pain-killers: The OTC aspirin/ibuprofin/Tylenol kind only. Had a perscription for Toradol or somesuch when I broke my arm but I really didn't have enough pain to feel like I wanted to be loopy. I'd rather have a little pain but be in control of myself.

Had a tea party: As a child - the kind of play tea-parties where you line up your bears and rabbits and Raggedy Ann dolls and have the little china tea set and everything. Yes, in some respects, I was very typically girly.

Cheated while playing a game: Yes. I've also used the "whoopsie" manuver (bump the board with your knee when you're losing and act like it's an accident). Not since I passed through puberty though.

Fallen asleep at work: Come close, but no.

Used a fake ID: No.

Felt an earthquake: Where I grew up in Ohio, there was a tiny little fault and it would occasionally move. I remember one earthquake that happened during English class junior year in high school. It was really very small - I thought people were moving desks on the floor above. Supposedly where I live now there are small earthquakes but they must be too small to feel.

Touched a snake: Yes, and they aren't slimy at all - they feel kind of like a cooler, smoother version of a basketball. I'm really not afraid of snakes as long as I'm sure they're a nonvenomous species.

Been robbed: No, thank goodness.

Petted a reindeer/goat: Sea World Petting Zoo as a child.

Won a contest: A few, here and there. (Miss Em's "horrible misuse of a song in a commercial" one that netted me some Diaketo yarn, won a prize for a poem in high school....there were probably others I don't remember)

Been suspended from school: No. The threat of detention was enough to make me burst into tears and run from the room. (I chalk my good behavior as a schoolgirl up to the fact that I felt that most of my peers were against me, and so the teachers were the only allies I had in the public school system, and I was deathly afraid of losing their respect or liking for me)

Been in a car accident: Yes - but all pretty minor ones. Been rear-ended a few times, smacked into a poorly-placed post in a badly-lit parking lot.

Had braces: Yes. I still shudder to think of it. I had a night brace even. Not the little neck-strap kind but the full dorkulation over-the-head kind. Only very recently did I stop having nightmares about losing my retainer.

Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night: No. I'm not really the kind of "He dumped me, I hate my life, I'm going to eat myself into a stupor" kind of person. I'm more the "Damn, it's been eight hours since my last meal and I'm STARVING" kind of person, but response to that usually doesn't involve ice cream.

Witnessed a crime: Can't remember. Nothing violent, I'd remember that. (If you count traffic infractions: yes, every day.)

Swam in the ocean: I've waded but not swum.

Sung karaoke: No. That's just not something I can do. I can't really dance in public either.

Paid for a meal with only coins: If a "meal" out of vending machines counts. Probably also did it at Drake's (may it rest in peace) in Ann Arbor when I was a college student.

Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose: hahahaha. Yes.

Been kissed under mistletoe: No. (Family members do not count). Most of the Christmas parties I've gone to have been University parties and mistletoe is frowned upon as a potential sexual-harrassment suit hazard. (Too bad.)

Crashed a party: No. I tend to apply the reverse Groucho Marx rule* to these: if it's a situation where people don't want me, I don't want to be there.

Worn pearls: Yes

Jumped off a bridge: No.

Ate dog/cat food: No. When I was a child, I had a friend who did (tried dog kibble) but it grossed me out too much.

Kissed a mirror: Hasn't every pre-teen or young teenaged girl? Or kissed a pillow? You know, for practice?

Glued your hand to something: hahahahaha. yes. Super Glue and I are not good friends.

Done a one-handed cartwheel: No. Never had the guts to.

Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours: No. I am not fond of talking on the phone, even to people I really care about.

Didn't take a shower for a week: *Shudder.* That's like one of my versions of Hell.
Even when I had a broken arm and wasn't supposed to wash my hair or get in the shower with my cast, I still found ways to stay clean (seriously: the barber shop where I got my hair cut only charged $3 to wash hair. It was totally worth it to me.)

Pick and ate an apple right off the tree: Yes. Also with peaches.

Been told by a complete stranger that you're hot: No. I've been told I was "pretty" but I don't think I have the kind of face/body that gets the "hot" designation. And that's okay with me. I'd rather be "pretty" or "cute" than "hot." Pretty or cute generally ages better. (and there's also the whole bed/wed distinction, although I suspect I've probably passed the expiration date for "wed" at this point)


(*Groucho Marx rule: He once said that he didn't want to be a part of any club that would take him as a member. So Reverse Groucho Marx, for me, means I don't want to be part of a club/group that wouldn't willingly accept me)