Meme time.

This is that "average American" thing making the rounds. Supposedly, these are all things that are part of being an "average" American:

-- Eats peanut butter at least once a week

Yeah, I think that's probably close for me. One of my "comfort foods" is a nice squashy peanut butter sandwich (you make the sandwich and then press down on it to sort of bind the bread, the butter, and the peanut butter. And yes, I use a little butter on the bread with peanut butter. Yes, I'm aware that's decadent. No, I don't care). Even better is peanut butter sandwich and a bowl of Lipton's Chicken Noodle soup. Peanut butter and Nutella on toasted whole-wheat bread is good, too, but I reserve that for times when I either have to go out into a howling gale (and thus, need the extra calories to keep me warm) or when I'm really really mad at the whole world.

-- Prefers smooth peanut butter over chunky

No. I only buy smooth peanut butter when I have some recipe I'm making that requires it. For sandwiches or putting on apples or just eating off a spoon, it needs to be crunchy (which is the CORRECT term. "Chunky" is wrong).


-- Can name all Three Stooges

This is a trick question, right? Because I'm pretty sure there were more than three - Shemp and Curly Joe were (sorry) replacements for the "real" Curly. (I think there were either one or two more "replacements" as well)

-- Lives within a 20-minute drive of a Wal-Mart

Yeah. Wish I lived within less than a 20 minute drive of a Trader Joe's or a Whole Foods or even a Kroger's.

-- Eats at McDonald’s at least once a year.

No. Never eat there if I can at all avoid it. Currently, the only "fast" food I will eat is carryout pizza (rarely) or some kind of tex mex thing from the Taco Mayo (which has more vegetables involved so it's probably healthier.)

-- Takes a shower for approximately 10.4 minutes a day.

Prolly true. I don't wash my hair every day (it would snap off at the roots if I did) but if I average out shower-time over the course of the week, it might actually be MORE than 10.4 minutes.


-- Never sings in the shower.

That makes me kind of sad. Singing in the shower is one of the silly little pleasures of life. I started doing it as soon as I realized I was living in my own place and no one could hear me and laugh at my choices of songs. "The Lady is a Tramp" is a favorite of mine. As is "Volare," but I can never remember the Italian part correctly.

-- Lives in a house, not an apartment or condominium.

That one fits.

-- Has a home valued between $100,000 and $300,000.

Hard to say. I paid well less than 100K for my house, but the housing market has kind of boomed here, to the point that I'm seeing ads for rental houses that I WOULD NOT LIVE IN going for $500 and $600 a month. So, maybe.

-- Has fired a gun

No. Not something I'm burning to do but not something I'm morally opposed to either.

-- Is between 5 feet and 6 feet tall

Yes.

-- Weighs 135 to 205 pounds.

Yes.

-- Is between the ages of 18 and 53

Yes.

-- Believes gambling is an acceptable entertainment option.

Eh. I don't think the government should necessarily BAN all gambling, but it's not something I want to spend my time and money on. I think the whole "get rich quick and you'll be happy forever" mentality is mistaken - I knew hella lot of miserable rich chix when I was in prep school, most of the big-scale lottery winners run through their winnings darn fast. I'd rather live a comfortable but not lavish life and earn what I get.

I've never been inside a casino; I think I'd find it either depressing or overwhelming (all the lights and sounds). I can think of a lot of other things I'd rather spend my time doing.

I will say I think state lotteries are almost a tax on the poor; if you look at who buys lottery tickets, it's generally not the doctors or the lawyers or the college professors. (Or the people who study probability for a living). The folks making a decent living might spend, maybe, $5 a month or so for kicks and grins, but the real hardcore folks, the people going in and dropping $20 or more a week, tend to be the ones who can afford it least.

And I've yet to see a state where the "education lottery" actually meant a net increase in education funding. Most of the proceeds get sucked away in advertising (gotta keep 'em playing) or the salaries of the (politically appointed) lottery commission.

That said, I don't have an issue with people having the friendly weekly game of poker or bunco where everyone ponies up $5 or whatever for a pot that the winner takes home. That's different to me - no one's making a profit off of it, and it's a more social occasion.

-- Grew up within 50 miles of current home.

Nope. I'd have to still be in the Akron/Cleveland area for that to be true.


*******

Knitting news:

I finished the Starlight band on the Hiawatha (which I'd been neglecting) and embarked on the second side panel. I've also been adding rows here and there to the Fibonacci sweater.

The winter Cast On came the other day. I looked at it while handing out candy to trick or treaters. I have only one thing to say (and this is not just directed at the designers in Cast On): Put down the needles and STEP AWAY from the novelty yarns. Waaaaaaaaay too many ponchettes or ponchini or whatever you want to call them. Waaaaaaay too many things made of hairball yarn or railroad ribbon or other things like that. I think I've hit my tolerance for novelty yarn.

I don't know why it is, but if a design's going to be really fugly, nine times out of ten it will also be executed in a novelty (usually furry) yarn. I don't know if that's just because it's more of a challenge to make novelty yarns look good, or if people think a ton of fur can hide bad design, or if I'm just an uber-traditionalist, but I'm ready for the trend to swing back to nice plain worsted or dk weight yarns. (Boucle, I'm willing to make an exception for, there is nice boucle out there.)