Some thoughts, on the most recent knitlist dust-up.

This one was over the usage of the word "bitch." As in, the book, "Stitch and Bitch." A minor argument got started over usage, and whether strong language was OK, and whether people who didn't like strong language were prudes, and whether it was the not-fond-of-strong-language folk who needed to suck it up and allow the people who like to use strong language to speak as they want, or if those fond of strong language should take into account the sensitivities of those who don't like it.

Well, here's my opinion, for what it's worth (I know, not a lot):

Have I used strong language in the past? You bet your sweet bippy. But I don't use strong language often. I actively try to avoid it in everyday life. Part of this is my upbringing, part of it is that I am aware that there are people around who don't like it (and I admit, I tend to be uncomfortable with it). But mostly, it's that I tend to look for "what is the least damage done" in most situations. And for me, the "least damage done" language wise involves not using language that might offend those I am with.

It's like a story my driving teacher once told me (which may or may not be true but has instructive value): the first and last time his son "flipped off" another driver, it was when the driver turned out to be the minister of the church that his father belonged to. You never know whom* you may offend (and with it being so easy these days to unintentionally offend, I figure it's better to try to avoid anything I know to be offensive).

(*Grammar Avengers, should that be "who" instead? I'm shaky on the Rules of Usage, usually preferring to go for the "what sounds right" but nether "who" nor "whom" sounds clearly correct in this one).

Does that make me a mealy-mouthed prude or an overly meek woman? I don't think so. I think being aware and respectful of the sensitivities of others is a good character trait, not a bad one.

I don't buy into the argument of "but it's how people talk today." My colleagues, my friends, my family don't talk like that. At least not on a regular basis. My feeling on strong language is that it's best reserved for very serious situations - just like my mother not raising her voice except when my brother or I were about to do something stupid and potentially life or health endangering (like pulling on a tablecloth of a table that had scissors sitting on it). Overused, a thing loses its impact. When one of my colleagues is very upset and happens to drop the "f-bomb" in the midst of his description of what he is upset about, I sit up and take notice - he usually never says that word, I think, this must really big a big ol' honking deal. But when I overhear a student who is angry about something, and he or she uses that word, and I know that that word is just about every other word out of his or her mouth - well, I figure they have a potty mouth anyway, this is probably nothing.

Because, I think 'those words' have their greatest utility as Major Intensifiers, not as Everyday Additions to Sentences and/or Placeholders When I Don't Know What Other Word to Use.

As I said, I've used strong language before, and I probably will again. But I see it as being like...I don't know my ammunition grades or sizes here, but if you do, imagine the comparison between a small-bore shot that you would fire straight up in the air to scare off crows versus the ammo you'd use if you were threatened by, oh, I don't know, evil space aliens. You don't pull out the big scary bullets when you're scaring birds away from your corn crop just like you don't use the Anglo-Saxonisms when you realize you forgot to buy milk on the way home. (well, okay, I might use one if I forgot to buy milk on the way home AND I had already put my car away in the garage AND I had already taken off my brassiere and gotten into my comfy slouchy clothes AND it was 40* and horizontal rain...but even then, there's no human within hearing distance. And even then, I think I'd be more likely to say "oh, crap"....which was considered a pretty bad "swear" itself when I was a kid but seems to have become fairly innocuous now)

But anyway. I think it's kind of a live and let-live issue. I don't mind if people want to have potty mouths among themselves, but I also think people who like to cuss should understand and respect that there are some people who don't like to hear it...especially not as "spicy sentence enhancers".

I will avoid the snooty high-density-vocabulary-person comment that there are plenty of other good words out there that convey a more precise meaning than the f-word used adverbially or adjectivally.