breathe in, breathe out, repeat.

I have to keep that in mind.

This morning:

did the monthly big research-chore
taught one class, proctored an exam in the other
made up a summary data table for the class I taught to be handed out Monday.
graded all the pent-up quizzes, late homeworks that I patsied myself into accepting (no more. no more. next time, late homeworks get points off.)

was looking forward to just grading the ecology exams, writing the biostats exam, and then coming in and working on my tenure packet this weekend.

but: I received two e-mails from different individuals indicating that I "needed" to do something ASAP about two different projects, both of which I had hoped I was forever done with.

I started one. I nearly hyperventilated in my office because I got to thinking about the crushing load of work I face, the trauma going on in my personal life, the apparent dangers rising up in every corner of the globe...and I just lost it. I sat at my desk gasping like a beached fish and crying (luckily, of course, it's Friday, so there's no one around but me).

I don't know. I don't get it - I thought this teaching-research-life thing was supposed to get easier with experience.