Maybe I'm just tired because it's the end of the week and I'm not feeling entirely well (it's been above 95 degrees for two weeks here; the pollen is high; and I'm having some female stuff going on), but this is going to be ranty.

It was triggered by the thread about knit elitism on the knitlist, fed by the knitflame list (why do I even read that - it's totally unsuited to my personality?), and contributed to by another knitbloggers remarks about the self-striping sockyarns.

I have problems with some forms of elitism (I'm not going to get into the qualities of published works, movies, and so forth: yes, of course some books are better than others. The whole Derrida-esque concept of all texts being equal in quality and usefulness is bunk in my opinion). What I dislike is one person running down another person's choices.

Like knit elitism. Sure, I don't like some of the beadwork stuff. And I prefer to stow my extra t.p. under the sink instead of covering it with a crocheted or knitted cover. That's my aesthetics and my choice. But I would never tell another person that her decision to make toilet paper roll covers is stupid or a waste of her time - again, it is her aesthetics and her choice.

I am not an artist. I make things because it is a necessary part of who I am. Just because I choose not to make art with every project does not make what I do any less important to me or any less valuable to me. I wouldn't appreciate knowing that people were snorting and laughing and rolling their eyes over the projects I choose.

I like embroidering those stamped pillowcases. I find it relaxing. I like and use the finished product. Yes, it's not tremendously creative. But it is relaxing and satisfying for me to do.

The point for me is relaxation and the satisfaction of doing something that stays done.

One of the other knitbloggers was commenting on her dislike of the self-striping or self-patterning yarns for socks. Perhaps I'm reading too much into her comments, but the sense I got was almost "if you're not going to do REAL fair isle, don't bother." She also made some kind of a comment along the lines of "it's half-assed results for half-assed effort."

That rubbed me the wrong way, and I left a comment about it. It wasn't a very bright or well-thought-out comment, and now I regret it. (see disclaimer above; I think I have some justification for one not very well-thought-out comment today).

What I really meant to say is: I like the self-patterning yarns because they work well for me. I am primarily a process knitter, rather than a product knitter. I knit because I need something like knitting to relax at the end of the day. I need something to do while I listen to music or read. I like simple patterns and variegated yarns.

The other reason I knit is that it is something that "stays done". I am a college professor. What that means is, I prepare a week's worth of class material - quizzes, homeworks, class discussions, lectures, you name it. By Friday it is gone, used up, and I have to start from scratch. With knitting, or quilting, or embroidery, when I finish a section, it stays done (barring errors of course). That is psychically important to me.

I also don't have a lot of time to knit. I'm jolly lucky if I get 1/2 hour in an evening. Sure, I could do a fair isle project with three colors and a complex pattern and teeny needles - but I'd be 15 years in finishing it, and it wouldn't have the same psyche-soothing effect that looking at a couple inches of good stockinette progress has for me.

I like the self-striping yarns. Sure, they're mindless. Sure, they're instant gratification. But on any given day, when I may have to cope with a rejected research article, a proposal rewrite (for the 4th time), angry students, and Emergency Faculty Meetings About Budget Cuts, a little instant gratification is a necessary salve for my self-esteem and sense of self.

And besides, I can wear the finished socks maybe 9 months out of the year here. The real, stranded fair isle ones are too thick and too warm for all but the very winter months.

I like knitting complex socks - I love Nancy Bush's patterns and I like doing my own combos of cables. But it can take me months to do a pair like that. And sometimes, goals that are months in being achieved are not the goals that are suitable to me.

Okay? Any questions?

I also am occasionally irritated by the knitflame list. Sure, there's some funny stuff on there. But it makes me sad to see beginning knitters - the ones with very earnest and real questions who are looking more for validation and a little handholding than the cheap and easy answer (which is what some people assume they are) - being run down, especially behind their backs. I remember being at that level, of reading instructions and wondering "is this right? Am I supposed to do it that way?"

Fortunately, I have a mother who knits and who was willing to answer questions and "hold my hand" through the difficult parts. I'm assuming some of these new knitters don't.

Besides, I'm happy to e-mail them and share what I know. Makes me feel good to be helping or reassuring someone else.

I also don't think it's tremendously funny to ridicule a new knitter who's found the Barbara Walker treasuries and breathlessly reports about them to the knitlist. How was she to know everyone else used them? I'd much rather shake her hand and say "sister, welcome to the club. And I envy you - you are going to have the joy of going through the books for the very first time and seeing the world of knitting open to you."

but then, my mother always says, she raised my brother and me to be too nice.

I feel some better now. This was how I was going to end this post:
"I'm beginning to rethink this blog thing. I lead such a boring life - I'm busy with work all the time, and at most get a few rows of knitting done per evening. I'm not tremendously creative - most of the things I make are from existing patterns and I've never jumped out on a limb to design my own sweaters. I don't have time to mine the Web for fascinating and useful links. I can't even post pictures of what I make at this point. The two or three people who read this blog are probably doing it just so they can laugh at me, and talk about how lame my projects and comments are, and say "thank God I'm not her." Maybe I'd be better off quitting, just so that they don't get to continue laughing at my expense."

Yeah, it's pessimistic. But I really don't like the sneaking suspicion that people out there are rolling their eyes and going "if you're not an artist, give it up already."

Because although I hate romance novels as much as any other overeducated liberated American woman, I would never tell a woman who loved to read them "Oh, give it up already. If you're not reading George Eliot or Italo Colvino, you might as well be watching television."

I don't like spitting on other people's passions.

And if you are laughing at my expense, don't bother to e-mail me and tell me that, okay?