Rare weekend post

 I used to do these more often. Well, today, I'm procrastinating on finishing the bit of cleaning I need to do (vacuuming and wet mopping the floors) so here you go.

I did get a microwave this morning, it was an ordeal. Unfortunately the small family-run appliance place only seemed to have the "mountable" models or larger ones (I have limited countertop space in an old kitchen) so I went to Lowe's.

You would think, purchasing a microwave would be simple - go to the shelf that has them, decide which one you want, lift it down, go pay. 
Except, they are HIDDEN. They were on an endcap facing the back wall just outside of the usual appliance area. When I looked on the website on my phone (and of course it asked me to download the app, which I don't want and won't use), it kept promoting the "order for delivery on Wednesday (or even later)!" or "order the ones we have in the store to pick up in 3 hours"

Well, the problems are: I don't want delivery, I'll be told "be home between 9 am and 3 pm" and since I work for a living I can't do that. And anyway, I don't want to wait until Wednesday.  

 And "wait three hours for pickup" are you kidding? I'm there now. I should be able to get it now, off a shelf. 

Finally, in frustration I went to the "Service" desk. At least this time there were two people there so one walked back to show me the microwaves. There were, I think, six choices: A Sharp (that was my dead microwave and I don't want that brand again" an LG (Which was probably good but cost the EARTH - seriously, it was nearly $500 and I'm not sure why), some brand I've never heard of (and it was cheap, so pass, I don't want to buy another microwave in six months) and a couple GEs.

Okay, fine, I get a GE.

Except: they are ALL now combined microwave/air fryer/convection oven and it sounds like woe betide you if you punch the wrong function button at, say, 6 am, when you just want to nuke some oatmeal before work. 

They're also LARGE. I had measured the space I had before going to Lowe's (in a rare burst of foresight for me) and the smallest GE would barely fit. I don't even really have the 3" clearance in front they WANT, but then again, I don't have kids in the house who might pull it down onto themselves. 

So I paid (and the self pay - which is all they have any more - locked up because there were about five things on the box that LOOK LIKE UPC codes but only one is right, and I chose badly, and a woman had to come and help and SHE clicked on the right code (and asked me if I wanted the $60 extended warranty and no I do not, if it craps out in a week I expect they'd make it right and if it craps out in two years, well, that's just how life IS now and I'd rather not send the microwave off somewhere for repairs even if they are free)

I didn't mention, but it was POURING rain. Yeah. The first day in several months we had rain (if you don't count the sleet of a couple weeks ago). And it was coming down hard. So I got soaked going out to the car. The first woman who helped me suggested she could get a guy to put it in the car for me, but....I have to get it back OUT myself at home, I'm already soaked to the skin, and most of the stock guys there were dry, so...

Got it home. Hoped I could heft it into the house (it was maybe 30 pounds but carrying things on a bad knee is harder). I did. Opened the box and with some difficulty (nowhere good to grab it) got it out and onto the counter and plugged in. Pulled off all the foam and the clingfilm and everything. 

Tried the timer; it works but unlike my old one it beeps until you push either start or cancel (My old one beeped once*)

 

(*An old joke from the ALF tv show of the 80s, that became an injoke between my mom and me for some reason - ALF said "let me know when this gets annoying" and started in with a sound like a screeching smoke detector, and I always think about that in light of annoying sounds that don't stop on their own in a short time)

Tried heating a cup of water, that worked.

And then at lunch I pulled out a frozen ham-and-cheese croissant sandwich thing I had bought the other day. "Defrost for 90 seconds on 30 power, then flip over and cook for 45 seconds on full power" 

 Okay, cool, easy enough.

Now, on my old microwave: you could punch in EITHER 90 or 1:30 as the time, and you'd get 90 seconds. But no, this one has to be picky. I punched "time cook" and "90" and then "power level" and then "3" and hit start

It beeped at me. Said "FOOD" on the screen.

"Yes," I said to the microwave, "it is food. It is not pizza or a potato or popcorn, the three choices you have, but I have told you how to cook it"

Hit cancel, tried again. Got the same thing. Cursed a little at the machine.

Tried reversing the order: "power level" "3" "time cook" "90" 

Still got "Food"

Finally, I thought to try 1:30 and 30 and that did it, but it took me several minutes to realize it doesn't have the fact of "90 seconds and one minute thirty seconds is the same number of seconds" in its little brain, so I guess I have to remember to tell it "minutes plus seconds" instead of "total number of seconds"

Also, it comes with a child lock enabled where you can't open it when it's done without hitting either "start" or "cancel" 

I'm not sure that would stop an older or very determined child who had watched their parent use the microwave, but there's a code to disable it, so I did that - I do not need any more cognitive load to heat up food. 

It's also allegedly an air fryer and came with a "crisping pan" and a couple of stands but I'm not going to worry about that for now.

And of course there's not actually a manual in the box; you have to download it and print it yourself (or, I suppose: read it on your phone as you stand in the kitchen).

So it worked out and I trust I'll be able to have zapped oatmeal again tomorrow morning (I had been eating Cheerios but for a school day, those don't keep me full until lunch) but it was an ordeal that took longer than it should have, and to use a slight euphemism, it seems like Lowe's has joined in the general enpoopification of things in our culture - with the few choices and the heavy pressure to "just order it, don't bother to look at them all first"

I did get my kitchen mostly cleaned (I have to vacuum and wet mop, and same in the bathroom and living room) but I am kind of tired.

During Zoom knitting today I DID get almost up to the next color on the blanket, it's getting closer and closer to done.