not quite there

 I started the heel flap on the ombre socks tonight, and I guess it's finally at the change over point where it'll repeat the colors in the other sock, but the legs will have colors not found in the other sock

 I don't know. I don't know how I feel about them right now. It was a hard week (and still isn't over) and so I'm inclined to be dissatisfied at everything. 

I was too cold all week, I kept getting muscle cramps (especially in the back of the thigh of my right leg, the one with the bad knee) and my upper back hurt from having been too cold much of the week. And I tried to do things that were helpful and was rejected at every turn. And I had people not pay attention to me, and then when I explained the thing they ignored they kept on ignoring me. And I lost half a day, practically, to the bad battery in the car (which shouldn't have been and I really think they gave me a battery that got put on a shelf instead of being disposed of). And just the whole outside world (now: we might lose the USPS as something even somewhat subsidized? So probably no more greeting cards or anything and packages being unaffordably high to ship).

So I'm just dissatisfied. I wish this all had not happened in my time. 

Next week is my birthday. If I at all can* I am bailing on part of my office hours next Thursday and going to Denison, to go out to lunch and to the yarn shop and the used book store and maybe the Michael's. 

(*but I fully expect, because life just dumps now, for there to be an EMERGENCY MEETING I must attend that will mean I can't)

I'm also telling myself this month I can mail order some stuff I want before going back to being more frugal. 

Well, one thing was ordered a *while* back, but it had to be pre-ordered

 

That's Falstaff, one of the Duolingo characters - he's a grumpy bear who likes jazz on vinyl records.

Even though he's grumpy, so don't tell him, he's very huggable and it does help a little bit with all the upset I cope with when I get home, tired,  at the end of the day and make the mistake of looking at a little news to see what's going on in the world. Or when I hurt and am cold.

But I'm not sure what else for my birthday. I'd like to do something fun and different, but am coming up empty. There's not a whole lot here. And I can't drive very far way unless I plan something on Saturday.

 

Like I said: I'm bad at fun. I don't know how to have it, and I know even less how to after the pandemic, when I forgot how to go out and do stuff. Probably what I need to do is make my peace with "you're not a fun person, you're actually kind of boring and you should just leave the fun things for other people who know how to have fun and just accept that it's not for you"