Looking for comfort

 Yeah, it was a hard week. Last night AAUW was a program on self-defense, and while the speaker was really good and it was important information, it still added to my anxiety, thinking about how I'd become a little lax (especially coming home after the sun's gone down) and I didn't sleep well last night. 

And next week's gonna be tough (the monthly round of church meetings). 

So I came home a BIT early today (didn't do my last research task; I might try to do that tomorrow morning) and did some cleaning. Usually that makes me feel better, having a clean house. I also did all the accumulated laundry and put it away. I finally cleaned my bedroom and moved some things out of it and put them away, to make room for the knitting stuff I had in the living room

Because I might put my Christmas tree up tomorrow. I guess a lot of people, after this year, are starting to decorate a little early. I did start playing Christmas music on the piano; I'm working on a Philip Keverin arrangement of "Christmastime is here" (I've long thought of that as a favorite piece. And I love it not DESPITE its slightly melancholy sound, but because of it - even though it starts out in F major, it SOUNDS like a minor key to me. Because really, isn't there that little shade of melancholy at Christmas - the knowing there are people you would like to be here but who are not, realizing as an adult you'll never have sense of wonder and unalloyed joy you had as a child)

I do already have one Christmas thing I got; Walgreens had Bluey-themed Advent calendars - those kind with a serious of doors that have a tiny piece of sort of indifferent chocolate in it (it's really more for the doing than the chocolate), though this one is from Canada so the chocolate may be better? I'll open it on the first even though I leave on the 18th; I'll just have to eat those last pieces of chocolate before I leave, or double up for the last week (or during exam week?)

But I did get my bedroom cleaned, and took the 'emergency' little window airconditioner that I installed when the whole-house one wasn't working earlier this summer out of the window and put it away. 

And then I moved some of the knitting stuff I had stacked up (partially finished projects, some yarn I plan to use "next") into the bedroom to get it out of the way of where the tree would go. So now I have a clear place for it when I want to put it up. I might set it up and get the lights on tomorrow and then gradually add the ornaments in the coming week. 

I've decided to get food gifts for everyone I buy gifts for. At my mom's age, she says she doesn't need more "things" and that makes sense but I know she likes the pouches of salmon from Seabear (they're shelf stable) and will order her some. My brother and sister in law may get some Italian-dinner makings if I can find a good place to order from. (My niece might get a sweatshirt with a horse or chickens - her two farming obsessions - if I can find a good one)

But yes, I need a little bit of turning inward for comfort, and thinking about the good things I remember from past Christmases.