Friday evening things

 * Another difficult day. I went back after lunch INTENDING to work on the systematics stuff after getting some grading done, but then I had to do some assessment data analysis for the upcoming program review. One thing I don't like about life now is that urgent things can come up that push you off longer-term but more-important (ultimately) stuff.

Well, it was woeful. I got it all compiled and submitted it, then the person I submitted it to came back with "that seems like an awfully small number of students, are you sure you didn't lose one set of the scan-trons?"

So I looked. And I looked. I went through all the old batches, I went through the other gen-ed class' batch, I couldn't find any. Finally, in desperation, I realized one set of the forms was from my class last spring. So I looked up the gradebook, and found that yes, in fact, every single one of my students' scan-trons were there, plus nine that were not my students.

I sent back to the person in charge, I explained, I said my class' data were all there, and I had nine other people, I could not find any others, and if I could get access to their online gradebook Monday I could back-calculate the average and get a correct number.

Well, the person e-mailed me a bit after 7 tonight (Yes, I checked, because I wanted to see if they had said anything further): "I checked and actually there was only 1 other class, and it had only nine people in it"

So I did have all the data. ARGH.

I spent about 40 minutes searching, and I fretted, and I raged at myself for being a disorganized mush-brain who loses things regularly now (The pandemic, or something, these past three years, has just made me so STUPID).

I wish I felt better about being vindicated but I don't. I just feel tired and I wasted time I could have been working on my stuff searching. I did do maybe an hour's work on the systematics stuff at home this evening, and I'll try to make myself do an hour or two more tomorrow, but still. 

This is a task I always kind of resist and am irritated by: it does not give me any value even if it has to be done for the department, it's not enjoyable, and I have bad memories of it because it was dropped in my lap literally less than a month after my dad died, so I associate it with the grief for him, and that's bad.

* At any rate: I got the grading from today done (but there will be more Monday), and I got the assessment task handled, but I didn't walk off campus until 5:30 today.Too late to go get any tubs from the storage unit, so I guess there's none of that until next week. (I do have one of fabric I should unload this weekend, and sort.)

I do admit I welcome seeing my supplies come back. One of the yarn boxes I brought back yesterday had some Felici sockyarn in it, in the colorway they called Dragon Boat (which I ASSUME is a reference to the traditional Chinese festival; it's stripes of yellow, red, an orangish red, and two greens)

I cast on a pair of socks and got a bit done on them. Maybe I do a little more while (a) trying to calm down and (b) letting my dinner (a hastily bolted-down frozen stromboli, and I fear I'll regret that later) settle while I remain in an upright seated position. 

* But I am feeling a little crabby and sorry-for-myself tonight. This was a hard and unpleasant week, there was bad news I got, I felt kind of ineffective, and there were some bad human interactions. There's really no promise of "fun" this weekend - I have duties at church and then a meeting Sunday afternoon, and tomorrow I should put some time in on working on the systematics for that class this coming spring. 

But I do feel very much like too little butter scraped over bread these days. 

I ordered myself a dumb thing off Etsy that will be here early next month. I sometimes do that when I'm feeling sorry for myself even though I know ordering a THING won't fix that there's no one to act happy to see me when I get home for the day, or no one to help carry the load at work, or that I don't have that many local friends, and none really in a position to go do stuff with me when I have time to do stuff. 

* It does feel like being a grown up is constantly doing tasks that are never done (the assessment thing felt extra that way when I thought I'd have to recalculate it next week) and tell yourself "maybe I'll have free time NEXT week" for the rest of your life.

* I also hit the "foreshadowing/Chekov's gun" thing in "Anne of Green Gables" last night that sets up for the one big really sad thing (that I vaguely know will happen) in the book, and I don't like that. I might read something else tonight lest I wind up getting to that part, I"m not in a mood for something super sad right now.

* Next week I guess I get my flu shot. I toyed with the idea of doing it today, but, with all the stuff Sunday, I don't want to feel lousy and then have to drag myself out to a meeting in the afternoon. I admit I'm apprehensive this time, given how strongly I reacted to the COVID booster, I'm considering seeing if I can line up a person or two who knows me to AT LEAST text me on Saturday and Sunday after I get the flu shot just to be sure I'm not lying on the floor, a puddle of fever. I think it's important to get it as I've heard this year's flu season might be bad, and with asthma, you don't want to mess with the flu.

(The bivalent booster - I am going to wait on that until I am home visiting my mother so she can watch out for me. Right now local transmission rates have dropped so hopefully we get a few weeks of relative safety)

* Also, I found these when I was clearing off a closet shelf (the high shelf in the guest room closet - I was trying to make space for boxes of yarn).

I did not buy these. When I moved into the house in 2001 there was a crummy decal on the vinyl siding, and I never tried to change it because I figured you can't nail through vinyl siding. But now that the vinyl siding is gone, I could put these up - they're brass, they're the right numbers. 

I had originally thought of getting a house-number plaque, either get one of those tile ones you can order, or have someone make a stained wooden Mission style one. 

They're probably not SUPER old, I'd guess the late 80s at the OLDEST, and they're not QUITE in the original style of the late 1940s house but....maybe it's kind of fate? I didn't buy them; I presume the previous owner (or the one right before her) did. And then the siding got put up and probably they couldn't use them, so just stuck them in the closet? So I do feel like maybe it's meant to be.
Maybe one thing I do this weekend is put these up? I might need to get a little double stick tape to hold them in place until I get them hammered in - not sure whether to put these in a straight line, or a diagonal line like some midcentury houses used. 

On the back it says "Made in Taiwan for Wessel Hardware Corp., Cleveland, Ohio" and it has a zip code (so I know they're not OLD old, also with the made in Taiwan thing).