Now it's tomorrow...

 So, against my better judgment, even though it was quarter to 4, I called the guy and cheerfully asked, "Do you think you can still come out this afternoon." He was very apologetic and claimed a "things were not up to code and we had to change a project midstream, and I had to supervise" on the current project, and he's promised me 10 am tomorrow.

I will believe it, when I see it. At this point I expect to be jerked along until I give up and just continue to live in a house that continues to deteriorate around me. 

Incidentally, the tree guy who was supposed to be out on Thursday? Has not shown, has not called, has disappeared. At least I didn't give him any money, we only had a verbal agreement of what I'd pay him when he got the work done. I took care of the urgent thing myself (with the neighbor's help) but the bigger piece (the chunk of elm) he had to remove? It's still there. I can't do it; no amateur can and I wouldn't ask them to because of the danger in getting it down from where it's hung up. And of course that limits the repairs to the garage roof until it's gone. Well, maybe if the GC *does* ever show and take on this job, maybe he can get a tree guy out for it.

But I'm just frustrated. All too often in this town it seems like you have to wait forever, and if you're a single woman, you have to wait *twice* forever, when you need help.

I am very much remembering a story I heard about a town in Mississippi after Hurricane Katrina, of a middle-class woman like me - unlike me, she was a divorcee, but still, she was alone - anyway, her roof got damaged. She thought she found a roofer to help, he took her "materials deposit" and disappeared. She went and applied for the various "charity help" that was being offered but everyone brushed her off, telling her she was too well-off (never mind she had been defrauded of a big chunk of the insurance money she had received). And so, she received no help at all, until a late-arriving church group including some teenagers, who got there too late to help "the most destitute." And someone coordinating things suggested her. And some of the teenagers objected: But she's well-off! She can afford to hire someone!

but at that point (a) she really couldn't and (b) there was NO ONE available.

It's like five of the roofing contractors I called told me: unless there is water pouring through your roof right now, we are too busy to help. Hearing people are too busy to help you is awful and isolating and discouraging - literally none of this work is something I can do myself. I can't put on a roof myself and I especially can't tear down the old shingles myself. I can't do siding myself. I can't fix subflooring. I MIGHT be able to build a better cover for the attic access port IF I spent a couple thousand on the right tools and supplies, and maybe I wouldn't pass out from having my arms up over my head to replace the damaged drywall on the sewing room ceiling. (Or maybe I live with the damaged drywall forever?) But I have very limited energy for this and I've called way, way too many people and been told "no" and I had high hopes for this guy, and I really hope he isn't going to ghost me and the "garage roof there wasn't up to code" wasn't just a convenient story. 

Because otherwise I have to pray for a housing market crash, try to get a mortgage, and wind up paying the bank for a house until I'm in my mid-80s - which makes me feel like no bank would give me a mortgage. 

I know I tend to see things as very bleak when I have a temporary setback but I'm really worried I won't be able to get the necessary fixes made and eventually the city will condemn my house, and then what?  I guess then I sell my piano and abandon most of my worldly goods and live in an apartment forever. Or I quit my job and move back home with my mom.