Monday, September 20, 2021

One quick photo

 I have one more "additional" repeat I want to do before the waist shaping so the thing isn't too short on me, but here is what the stitch pattern (this is the middle back) so far:


Other than that, I'm just tired. I graded an essay-heavy exam this afternoon and because no one stepped up to provide soil, I had to run out at 4 pm (when it was 100F! We are in Hell....) and get soil. And like a fool, I had the "brilliant" idea of "oh I'll go check on my field site and get soil there" and I totally forgot late-afternoon traffic and our awful aggressive drivers and I was super-anxious by the time I got out there, and super anxious again by the time I got home. 

I think that kind of kicked my brain, because I was kind of unhappy and twitchy all evening and this was one of the nights when I Cried, thinking about all the people I've lost in the past 3 years or so, and how I don't even KNOW if I want to go back out into the world and try to make friends again (if it's ever safe) because there are so many people who think things that are dealbreakers for me now. And maybe I just have to learn to live without in-person friends? I've done it for a while so far, maybe.....maybe I can just keep doing it.

I don't know. I don't think I'm ever getting back the person I used to be. And I'm not sure I like what I've become.


I also despair of ever wearing knitwear, it's so hot and humid out, and it's been that way FOREVER. By now we should be getting some cooler weather, and yeah, we might get ONE DAY, and then it's back to the upper 90s this weekend, just in time for me to have to do fieldwork.

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