A little progress

 I have about 8 rows done on the ribbing of the new sweater.

ten more rows and I can switch to the bigger needles (these are US 3s) and I think also the part I'm doing as a 1x1 rib (which is not HARD, but takes longer, because you move the yarn with each stitch) becomes stockinette, which goes faster. 

I do think after trying in the swatch to do the twisted-stitch style of cable, I'm just gonna default to a needle - I can't get the left leaning cable to look right using the twisted-stitch method. 

The pattern is "Incunabula" from Karie Westermann's "This Thing of Paper," a book I ordered all the way from the UK after reading about some of the patterns in it. The yarn is Berroco Remix Light - it's a dk weight as recommended by the pattern. Which means the sweater will be less heavy and more wearable (also because the yarn doesn't contain wool - it's a mix of nylon, silk, and linen), it also means it moves slowly. At least right now I don't need to consult the chart; there's only one row out of four that isn't just "knit the stitches as they appear"

***

Other than that, I'm just tired. It's extremely hot here, we've had a heat warning for five days in a row now and tomorrow is supposed to be the worst day, with a heat index of like 107. And I hurt because it's humid and we also have high atmospheric pressure - I noped out of working out today because I was just in too much pain (possibly this being the second day after mowing the lawn - often second days after some unusual exertion are worse). 

 I also just feel the usual malaise/fatigue/languishing that results from trying to live life "as normal" in the middle of a pandemic where I have to take some extra steps for my own safety (mostly: staying at home a LOT, though that's more because I don't want to risk a car accident given our overloaded hospitals, and people are driving TERRIBLY right now - the heat makes people stupid and mean) and also extra steps in re: contact tracing of students in class and also teaching partly online for the numerous students having to isolate because of exposure. And while it's not objectively terrible - I mean, I am vaccinated, and I have decent masks, and there's currently enough food in the store - it's also just very soul-draining not to have anything "fun" planned. (Part of this is because of the horrific construction, currently leading to numerous accidents, on 69/75, so I am just staying home - Sherman is the only easy quick place to get to other than my little town which has few things - and it's too hot to go hiking or I'd consider a run up to the park at Sulphur).

There's nothing really in the next-nearest towns in my state, Ardmore is a little far and doesn't really have a lot of the things (a few places I might have gone seem to have closed down). I do keep looking at Google Maps to see if there's anything I've missed in any of the small towns but so far, no. (Our main small businesses these days, so that every little town has at least one? Pot dispensaries. Not something I would use and so not a place that would be interesting to go. I assume they are high-profit-margin or there wouldn't be so many of them?)

 I mean, I know what I would LIKE - a trip to a yarn shop, a chance to go to a nice sort of farm and pet alpacas or something like that, a place where I could buy fresh apples or some kind of other fun produce, a chance at baked goods that are not either what I have to make myself or the rather mediocre grocery store ones, a nice cup of tea and slice of cake even if I had to eat it outdoors. But none of those things seem possible, at least not right now. 

It's just that right now feels like all effort and no reward, and I don't know how to change the balance of that, and no, I don't think it's purely an attitude thing on my part. It may be this is just a time to be endured and please GOD let it not be that much longer because if it is much longer I just may not make it. Like, I need a "Make A Wish" like those terminally ill kids get, even as I know that's horrible and selfish of me to want that, but I feel like I've slogged on for a year and a half (well, really 2 years, counting the things that happened shortly before the pandemic in my life) with relatively little joy, and...I'm not sure I can still even FEEL joy.