pulled the trigger

 So to speak. I have had a small cyst (at least that's what I think it is, and what my regular doctor thought it was) on one temple. I brush my hair over it so it doesn't show but I'm self-conscious about it to the point where it was affecting how I felt a little. And recently, I noticed it developed a pigmented spot, like a mole, which I KNOW is a warning sign.

So after worrying a bit, I called the local "basic" dermatology clinic today and set up an appointment. I am hoping that the out come is "yeah, this isn't a big deal but we can make an appointment for you to have it removed, no problem" and not "OMG you have cancer, that's pretty clear."

I'm guessing it will be inbetween, a "we don't know, but we'll take it off and biopsy it to be sure" and I'm also hoping they can do it THERE (which seems safer) than going to the hospital for it. I'm pretty tough; I don't think I'd need a sedative if they drape the area well so I can't see what's being done, and if they use a local.

I just want it gone, though. I want to stop thinking about it and now being concerned about it (the dark spot has only been present a couple weeks that I can remember) and also it might mean I could consider going back to having bangs rather than the side-sweep, or AT LEAST to start wearing my hair clips and barrettes again because otherwise they can make the cyst visible. 

(I'm PRETTY sure it's a cyst, maybe a pilar cyst, but I want to be sure it's nothing bad).

My initial appointment is in two weeks (the first they had). I'm hoping if it IS cancer it's not progressed very far and it's just at the "cut it out and monitor, but it's probably nothing more" stage.I think the fact that it's not multiplied - this is the only one, and I've had it five years and this is the first change I've noticed - would suggest either "not cancer" or "very very early on"

(It could also be a sebaceous cyst, which the internet tells me just can have a dark spot without it being an issue)

But mostly I just want it gone for vanity reasons.

But I'm also hoping they don't have to shave very much of my head to remove it. Then again, if that happens, maybe I just wear a hat until it heals up, it's cool enough out that it wouldn't be too uncomfortable.

I really should have done this a while back, but of course no one expected the pandemic, and over the summer - which would have been ideal to do it - I was barely going anywhere.

If the verdict is "yeah no, this can't be cancerous, but sure you can get it removed" maybe then I wait until summer - or have it done at the start of Spring Break- which I will be spending here, I don't foresee my mom and me being vaccinated by then. On the other hand, if it's an "OMG this needs to be gone yesterday" thing then I guess I just take the first open appointment for that and cancel class/get a fill-in if need be

But it really literally is always something :(