afternoon things, stuff

- Do you ever hit the point of decision paralysis, where so many decisions you've made have blown up at you, that even a simple, low-stakes one seems impossibly fraught and you can't decide? That's me today.

- Because, I was thinking: You want to make cookies for your department* and you need to bring something Monday night for CWF that won't have to be kept warm. I was thinking of doing a maraschino-cherry cake for CWF but then I thought: why not just make more different kinds of cookies and talk half each place?

(*even though in some ways I almost feel like some people don't DESERVE my cookies, given the lack of help I got when I needed it and asked, but Christmas is about getting better than what you deserve, so....)

But now I cannot decide: Cake, because it's fancy and nice and fun? Or cookies, because everyone likes cookies and while making extra batches isn't necessarily FASTER than cookies plus cake it might be SIMPLER than two batches of cookies (to give a choice at the department) AND cake.

But of course, so many choices I've made in recent days turned out to be Wrong and it would be nice just to have someone TELL me what to do.

- Caught a plagiarized paper. I think. Very similar information is on a university's webpage, and apparently even MORE similar information is on a place called moringe.net, which seems to be a site with possibly-pirated material? But you have to give them a credit card number to see anything on the supposedly-free site, and I am 100%

So I guess I give a 0 on the grounds of "these are things we didn't cover in class and also it's v. similar to this website" and let the student come and fight with me over it, though I have little energy for fighting right now.

- (Readers, do any of you know of this site? Is it as I suspect, a "we will sell you college papers for cash and your prof won't be able to trace them" site?)

- I am more disappointed than angry with this student, but I'm also pretty angry. 

- I was thinking today of one of the big reasons why I am looking forward to being home with my mom: she is not a demanding person (I know some people's mothers are). She never asks for anything ridiculous, and even simple things like "hey, you're taller than I am, could you reach down this thing off a higher shelf than I can reach" she doesn't come to me about if I'm working on something - she will catch me if I'm going out to the kitchen to get a drink of water, or she'll come and say "don't get up now but when you have a moment..." and she really means it like that, not in a passive-aggressive "If YoU'rE nOt ToO bUsY tO hElP yOuR oLd MoThEr" way

And I get so worn out by the "this needs to be done now" or "why don't you just" or "but you're SUPPOSED to" that I get at work on a regular basis that it's a relief to hear "honey, when you have a minute, could you help me lift this thing? No hurry."

- But yeah. I am tired and sad and this semester is EXTRA fired after how today went

****

And I'm FINALLY home. All the grading save for the "extra" paper a grad student had to do for one of my classes, is done (Self, do NOT forget to grade that Monday!). I also got out and walked briskly for 50 minutes (in two batches - 30 minutes right after the plagiarized paper, so I could calm down, and 20 minutes after I finished everything). There is a trail on campus with distances marked and I surprised myself in that I can still walk a 15 minute mile over slightly undulating terrain. (That's about 4 miles an hour, not too bad for someone who is 50 and technically "obese")

And I decided: I'm going to do the cake for CWF. Mainly because I want cake myself. I'm still going to do cookies for the department, probably a chocolate sable (refrigerator type) my friend purlewe sent me, and molasses drop cookies if I can find a recipe that looks good, and some kind of bar cookie - maybe the good old fudgy oat bars, I don't think that's too much chocolate along with the sables (people in my department like chocolate). If I get super ambitious I might do a fourth kind, like Thumbprints or something. Or maybe not. The cake I will do Sunday because then it will be fresher for Monday but also will be good and cool before I frost it.

One thing I should do tonight is decide for sure and make a list of anything I might need to get.

But tonight? Hot shower to warm up after my chilly late walk (the sun was going down as I walked back to my car. I saw a big fluffy cat - don't know if she's a feral or someone's indoor-outdoor cat - heading perpendicular to my path. We both stopped and looked at each other for a moment, like "Greetings, fellow early-evening creature" and then she went on her way)

And then, I'm going to knit.

And then, I'm going to go to bed.