Tuesday, September 03, 2019

maybe going quiet

* There are terrible things going on in the outside world; probably lots of people dead in the Bahamas.

* I am deeply worried about a friend of mine and that's eating a lot of my attention

* I am also deeply worried about the future of my congregation, if we'll still even exist.

* I had the tax meeting today. It's going to cost me money but he's looking into what went wrong.

* My mom sent me a photo of my dad she found in some stuff she had, and while I know she meant well by it, it was a terrible gut punch to me, especially today.

* I have to finish up something I agreed to do and it's very hard for me to concentrate on it

* I have to practice piano and I can't, I'm blocked by all the worry.

So I may have to back away for a few days, especially if the worst I fear has happened with my friend.

My heart has pounded all day, as it usually does when I'm anxious. I wish I could get some good news on one thing to quell the anxiety a little.


Edited to add: pretty sure my friend is gone. Haven't heard anything/seen anything online from them in more than 24 hours and that's unlike them. I know they had had some health issues.

Man, I am kind of figuratively cowering in a corner and wondering what else 2019 is going to take from me, this has been a hellish year.

I will be back in a few days. Being online right now feels hard.

4 comments:

jodel said...

Holding you in the Light.

purlewe said...

Sending you love. and hope. and I will keep my fingers crossed for your friend.

Jay said...

Been worried too, as his last few posts were on the dark side.
Prayers for him, and for you, and your family.
Jay

McGehee said...

FWIW, I just perused his Facebook friends list looking for members of his family -- since I would expect some mention of a milestone like that. Nothing so far. NNIGN