* So I woke up and did my workout and for a bit (while still at home) was all "Friday the 13th? I've already had a year's worth of bad things happen to me in the past six weeks, so bring it, b*tch."
I am not so sanguine now I am over at work - headachey, for one thing, and I keep making mistakes or misplacing things (for about five minutes I thought I had lost a textbook that I consulted literally 14 hours earlier, and no one had been in my office since then). My brain feels sludgey this morning; I don't know why.
Also, I got the provisional grade-and-attendance reports (due today) done late yesterday afternoon (after piano lesson - I came back). Within 30 seconds of doing the first one? I had a grumpy e-mail from a student saying that I failed to take something into account and their grade read lower than it should.
And I just stared at the e-mail for a bit, and then wrote back a chilly but polite one pointing out (a) these are purely advisory and (b) in fact I don't have lab grades to include yet so I cannot base the grade on ALL the material so far.
I also got another one this morning complaining that "I walked into class late one day and you still counted me absent!" Yes, because on the first couple days I explicitly noted you have to check in at the end of class to be sure I marked you present if you came in after roll.
This is...frustrating. For one thing, it feels like we're infantilizing students who are adults. But also, the people genuinely missing half the classes and earning an F for never turning anything in (and I have one of those) never bother to check the reports or e-mail me. It's the A and B level strivers who can sometimes be quite strident in their demands that I "correct" the report.
(I can't. Not once it's submitted).
And also, it's just a bit more additional work for us; it seems like every few years a couple more tasks get added in to our workload. Work expands to fill the time allotted and even then some.
I am in one of my periodic funks of feeling everything is asymmetrical; that I am expected to extend infinite compassion and understanding, but if I make an error, or didn't have full information, or did things a tiny bit less precisely than I would in happier, easier times - well, it all comes down on my head and I have people angry with me. (Dear Universe: this is not how you get someone to stop being an anxious perfectionist).
How students view their professors, has changed, I think. There is much more of a "we're customers, and the customer is always right" model, and it does seem I do a lot more fetching and carrying than my own professors did.
* It just never ends, though: I still have to type up the AAUW minutes, and I am trying to "clear the decks" so I have a couple hours this afternoon to work on my research (so I can have this set of samples done before I have to go collect the October ones!) And I'd really like to take Saturday off but I should probably come in and work on research. (at least my exam for next week is written and at the printer's).
I don't think I'll go to Sherman for a little while, though, am now anxious about driving on interstates; a student was absent one day (unusual for this person) and they e-mailed me to explain: they'd been in a car wreck, their car rolled a couple times, they had to go to the hospital to get checked out. They are going to be OK - just bruised and sore - but in the wake of ANOTHER car accident that took a life....yeah, I think I'm gonna stick close to home for a while. Anyway, I have enough yarn and books, and many other things can be had via mail order. (I probably need to order a couple things from Ulta. It would be faster to drive down there, but...nope.)
* And yeah, I do need to sit down and do more knitting and sewing; the couple times this week I actually felt kind of GOOD was while I invigilated my ecology exam and knit a bit (I started a new version of the Pocketses vest, this time out of a bright-fuchsia tweed yarn, a colorway called "jam." (I liked the color anyway, but it doubly amused me to make a vest inspired by hobbits out of a yarn named for a food they would like to eat). And also last night, when I took a few minutes and turned the heel on a sock that will be part of my mother's Christmas present. I've never been able to figure out if "I feel really bad in the weeks when I don't do any knitting" is because "I have no time to myself" or if it really is something about knitting SPECIFICALLY that is good for me; I know there have been studies suggesting it shares some commonality with meditation.
* I also need to do a tiny bit of simple sewing for a swap-gift. I am participating in the ITFF (Ivory Tower Fiber Freaks group) swap. I have the three purchased things but there is a fourth thing I want to make. And I NEED to get this sent off; its due date is the 21st, though everyone on the group knows what I'm dealing with and I think they'd be generous with me if I didn't get it out right on that date. But I want to, especially because I got my package. (Photos will have to come later, I cannot login to Flickr over here, have forgot my password and don't have the list over at work). But I got a small amount of yarn (some of which may go for armwarmers) and some scented pencils and a Welsh "love spoon" (the person who sent to me lives in Wales). And some Kinder Eggs, two of which I ate (and am saving the third one).
And the best thing? A little owl that lights up and plays music. Yes, it's a soother for babies, but you know? sometimes upset adults need soothing too. (It plays Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, but that could equally likely be "Baa Baa Black Sheep, have you any wool?" or even "Ah, vous, dirai-je, Maman" - all use the same tune or darn close to it. (Also the "Alphabet Song"))
* And I should take pictures of my Barbies in their new/old clothes - some of the stuff I ordered off Etsy came - a couple of groovy 1970s style pantsuits (I put one on Sam, and the other one was large enough to fit Cinnamon, despite her being "fat Barbie"). And a really 1970s bright minidress sort of thing that looks well on Olivia....
That's another thing I want to get back to, changing their clothes more regularly. It's a simple thing but it's fun. And yes, I do look around for vintage homemade clothes to put on them, somehow the homemade stuff makes me happier than the modern commercial dresses (which do tend to be v. cheaply made) do.
No comments:
Post a Comment