Another random thought

While I was doing the soil-sample examination (I have two samples left, can do those tomorrow), it popped into my head:

"Maybe the reason you feel like you're having bad premonitions that you 'might die under the anesthetic' is related to your regular tendency to expect the worst outcome of any situation and then be pleasantly surprised when that doesn't happen?"


And yeah, that's probably right. Many people have reassured me that the anesthetic agent to be used is very safe, and there will be an anesthesiologist on duty (I checked the instructions they gave me again) and I'll be in a hospital.....

I mean, I fully expect to go through at least 18 more nervous breakdowns over this between now and the time I wake up after the procedure, but....maybe I'm not gonna die.

I hope not.

(And yeah, I had a little angry-talk at the Man Upstairs on the way home yesterday afternoon, telling Him that if He's got crap* He still expects me to get done in the coming months, He's gonna have to carry me through this and let me live. I mean, all the odds seem to be in favor of me living but you never do know)


(*Yes, I said "crap." God forgive me)