Thursday, April 25, 2019

Am I done?

Am I done yet?

I almost lost my patience with a student in lab yesterday....they were chatting up the person next to them during prelab, and they didn't hear ANY of my instructions. So I had to repeat it to them.

Still no ETA on the washer; I came home to a call from "LOWE'S NATIONAL" but no message and I wonder if it was one of those dumb survey things. (I may try calling them back this afternoon if there's no word from the installer. Was not a local exchange though)

But the biggest thing? My mom, who complained of a backache and 'feeling cold' and having no appetite, has decided to go in to the doctor. (She is, like many of the rest of us, not big on doctors). She called the ask-a-nurse line and they said given her age (82) it was probably wise.

(Though I admit, I was also agitating for her to go to the doctor so maybe it was partly that that caused her to go)

I am really hoping this is just a dumb virus and the doctor will just shrug and tell her to try to force herself to eat, or that there's some low-level prescription she can take. I'm telling myself it couldn't possibly be something really awful and big. Because if I let my mind go there, I will freak out and I have a lab to teach this afternoon. (She did say she had started feeling better was concerned about how long it was hanging on, but I know I've had low-grade GI things that were longer than a 24 hour bug).

The one thing that keeps me calm: my aunt and uncle visited them a week or more before she started with this....and my uncle reported having something v. similar after he got back home, so maybe she caught it from him.

She is going to call me tonight to report back because she knows I worry. (Geez. I bet she worried about me similarly when I was in college; now it's my turn to worry about her, though maybe for different things than she worried about me.)

(Anyway, if you're the prayers/good thoughts sort, her name is Gail.)

If it's something truly serious....well, I don't want to think about that but it might mean major changes and upheavals in my life if they need me to help them.

But yeah. I am just very tired and very low on emotional spoons and I would very, very much like for things to be calm and quiet and nice for a while without any outside worries so I can just buckle down and finish my semester.

****

I also just want to take some time and MAKE stuff. I might try to take most of this weekend off again and work in my yard (I really want to do bedding plants in the front garden again, and I also kind of want to try tomatoes again after a couple years of not trying).

I worked a bit on Harvest (the cardigan) again last night and....I just want to finish something. Finish something so I can start something new. I only got a few rows done on it (it is at the longest point now) and I have a couple inches left to knit before I do the next thing (either a little bit of decreasing for the waist, or maybe just the hemline, I forget which).

I also want to get back to working on quilt tops; I have so many ahead and I never seem to get into my sewing room.

I HAD planned on working in the garden some this afternoon after class but I don't know, maybe I sew instead? I have so little time...it's really hard to decide on what I want most to do (And balance "kinda want" with 'really need' - my untidy yard probably *really needs* some work.)

(And also, maybe it will help burn off a little anxiety to be outside and be doing something active)

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