This and that

* At loose ends this morning. Woke up sad, not sure why. Maybe bacon hangover? I ate a lot of bacon at the pancake dinner last night (more than the pancakes I ate) because I normally never eat bacon and it was good bacon, well-prepared, and it tasted really good to me.

So this is gonna be a mixed plate of random...

* I made the minister laugh a little on Sunday, though it was for something that's really on-brand for me. As I was walking up to the sanctuary after Sunday school ended (but about 25 minutes before the start of the service) he called to me from his office and said, "If you're the one doing the announcements, would you please remind people to pick up the alternate hymnbook during the greeting time? They got moved out of the way* yesterday for the memorial service"

and I said, "Oh, I can just move them now"
and he said: "I don't want to put that on you, you didn't move them."
and I said: "I don't mind. I don't like standing around for 20 minutes doing nothing" and he laughed but once before I compared myself to Martha (of Mary and Martha) and one time when I had to fill the pulpit in his absence I did a whole sermon on how Martha sometimes gets a bad rap....

And anyway, the choir helped me put them back after they finished practice.

(*Long story, but: we had been using a Church of Christ hymnal because it was what the choir director several choir directors ago liked; more recently we "inherited" extra copies of the Disciples hymnal when Brite updated their set....I like having the two hymnals, more diversity, but this is one of the things some people complain about. I *think* the hymnals were moved by one of the people from the funeral home on the grounds that having both in the pews would confuse people, as the hymn we sang was from the older hymnal...)

* No word on a PPR committee meeting. I am HOPING that means people decided to withdraw their complaints when they realized the whole thing and also decided that "well, if I have to write it out**" but I suspect it's more that the person in charge is super busy and just hasn't scheduled it and it will probably fall at the semi-last minute.

(**Though then again: I hope my "I want these things written out if we're to deal with them, you can even do it anonymously" didn't drive the resentments underground, I could see that happening, but really: if I were filing a complaint I'd rather do it in writing than have to tell someone it. And I'd feel like I'd be less likely to be mis-interpreted. My motivation was just that: I don't want to have to remember what exactly someone told me in the five minutes after church before they ran to the restaurant for lunch, and not paraphrase it in some way that makes it sound milder - because that's my tendency - and the complaint doesn't really get addressed).

I don't know. Being a human feels increasingly hard to me some days. And I know part of it is my own people-pleaser tendencies. But also part of it is listening to people who interpret everything as a Problem somehow and as being unfair to people who don't share your particular brand of privilege. (Yes, someone in my brain is shouting "requiring people to write out complaints silences those who find writing hard' but you know I also find remembering the exact words someone says to me hard so I should get an accommodation too)

* All that said: Pancake Dinner last night was really fun. I didn't see anyone who came over from the Presbyterian church (we invited them as we're having a joint service with them tonight) but we did have some college students and a bunch of people from the congregation and it was really nice to just sit down and eat with people and not have to worry about things like "do I need to get up and do the dishes" (we used paper plates) and I didn't even wind up having to "spell" Mike in the kitchen because one of the other Elders showed up and he wanted to help make pancakes, and then the young-teen daughter of one of the women wanted to help, too, so there was plenty of help.

(And Mike made the pancakes from scratch! I should have expected that from him - he jokingly said "Mix? We don't need no stinkin' mixes!" to someone who asked, but I kind of assumed that he'd use a mix for simplicity. I very likely would have...)

I need more things like that where it's just hanging out with people with zero expectations on me to run the show or do anything over and above. That is probably partly why I like Bell Choir: I am just one of many there, and while I make my contribution, it is no more than anyone else (other than the director). I don't have to schedule anything or deal with difficult personalities or figure out what to do when something goes wrong...

* I finally decided on my Lenten "sacrifice": I am not going to buy any craft supplies, or books, or similar things (blindbag toys, etc.) during the coming 40 days, and I am going to try to figure out how much I'd spend on that (let's say $250, that's a generous estimate) and send it to my denomination's Week of Compassion offering instead.

Because I don't really *need* any of those things - I have plenty already- and Week of Compassion (which is largely disaster-relief) does good work. Now I just need to make myself a reminder. (This may also help reduce my time spent online).

I know a lot of people are leaving social media for Lent; someone else I know doesn't go on Ravelry. But for me, I think this is perhaps a more sensible "sacrifice."

*And I may have sussed out some of my distress and "not feeling good" - asthma. I was wheezy when meeting with my arranged-class student, and now I'm having the tell-tale intercostal muscle cramps. Ugh. No way to easily treat it, though, and my office is kind of cold, which makes it worse. I'll just have to tough it out.